Page 118 of Three Pucking Ex's Brothers
I know what those lips feel like. What they taste like. But I’m not the only one who knows, am I?
Brett’s kissed this mouth probably at least a hundred times.
Russell knows just as well what she tastes like.
And Tommy does too by now, I’m sure.
But even knowing they’ve tasted what I’ve tasted…I still want it. I still want her.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my heart in my throat.
“Freddie…”
“I know what happened between us…I just want to say if you are freaked out or if that’s why you’re avoiding me…”
“Avoiding you?” she asks, surprised. “You think I’m avoiding you?”
“I don’t know what to think, Nora,” I say honestly. “I mean, I showed up at your brother’s in the middle of the night and we…” I close my eyes, the memory still too strong.
“Is that what you think?” she asks, with a sigh. I feel her hand on my hip, and I fight to grab her hand. To slip my fingers through hers.
“I know it’s fucked up,” I say carefully. “ThatI’mfucked up, and Russ…Tommy…” I let out a sigh. “They’re better for you than I am.”
It’s true. They are. Both of them.
“You think you know what’s best for me, is that it?” she asks, her tone turning bitter. “Daddy knows best, is that it?”
It’s the way she so casually uses my preferred name. Like it’s natural. Normal. It sounds so good on her tongue.
“Yes,” I say harshly. “Yes, Nora, is it so hard to believe that I only want what’s best for you?” I motion to my kitchen. “I told you that first morning, after I caught you with Rush?—”
Her eyes widen, and I can’t help the way my voice rises.
“I told you whatever you needed, I would provide. And I’ve done that, haven’t I?”
She glares at me.
“You needed a place to stay, I gave it. You needed arms to hold you, I gave it. You needed?—”
“And what about you?” she asks fiercely.
“What about me?” I bite, pushing away from her to chop my peppers.
She grabs me by the arm. “What about what you need, Freddie? You act as if this is a one-way street, as if?—”
“Because it is!” I snap. I turn to her, my eyes welling because the emotional hurricane inside of me is building and I can’t stop it.
“Tell me why.”
“Hurricane.” I say the word without question and grab a pepper.
“No, Freddie Sterling, you do not get to safeword your way out of this discussion!” she says, but I don’t look at her. I can’t. If I do, I’ll crumble.
“Freddie…” Russell’s voice interrupts me and I freeze. “Nora…”
I chop my pepper as Nora steps up to me. “Tell me what’s wrong,” she says, the ache in her voice obvious. “Tell me whatyouneed.”
“What Ineed, is nothing you can give me,” I tell her, but I hate myself for it.
