Page 100 of Doxy for the Ton
“Duchess,” she said, in a tone clearly intended to convey the least amount of respect possible. Then she creased her upper lip as if encountering a particularly bad smell. “Lady Rex,” she said. “Youaremoving up in the world. I applaud your tenacity.”
“You’re too kind,” Mimi replied.
“I should warn you, as a friend, to take care with whom you associate,” Miss Francis said. “A title always carries more value when it is inherited, rather than married into—wouldn’t you agree,DuchessWhitcombe?”
Eleanor stiffened.
Mimi suppressed the urge to slam her fist into Miss Francis’s sneering face. Instead, she returned the smile.
“You’re alwayssoconsiderate, Miss Francis,” she said. “And generous with your advice. Is she not generous, Duchess?”
Eleanor nodded.
“Such consideration cannot go unrewarded,” Mimi continued. “Permit me, Miss Francis, to express my gratitude for your generosity by sharing a little advice of my own.”
Miss Francis nodded, in the manner of a monarch receiving her subject. Mimi leaned toward her and lowered her voice.
“Why don’t you fuck yourself with a broom handle, Miss Francis?”
Wearing the sweetest of smiles, Mimi stepped back.
Miss Francis paled, opened her mouth to respond, then closed it again.
“I-I beg your pardon?” she said.
“It’s not something I’d recommend on a constant basis,” Mimi continued, “but it does wonders for the complexion if undertaken at least twice a day before meals.”
Eleanor suppressed a snort, and Miss Francis stared at her, her eyes glittering with hatred.
“I’ve heard such a practice is employed frequently by young women who find it difficult to secure a suitor,” Mimi continued. “And, of course, there’s the benefit of being able to sweep the floor afterward.”
Miss Francis let out a squeak, and Eleanor burst into laughter, shaking with mirth, which culminated in a volley of coughs.
“Quite right, Duchess,” Mimi said. “The air is a little stifling in here. Let us take a turn outside.” She led Eleanor into the hallway. “Would you like to walk outside, Eleanor? I could ask someone to fetch your cloak.”
“No, I’ll be all right here,” Eleanor replied. “Forgive me, I-I’m not fond of crowds. And Miss Francis always unnerves me. I’m a little afraid of her—at least when Montague’s not with me.”
“Why, because she thinks herself superior?”
“She always seems to know what to do, and say, at parties and social gatherings. Whereas I…”
“Whereas you understand the value of only speaking when you have something of value to say and when you are with someone with whom you can have an intelligent conversation,” Mimi said. “I doubt theHonorableMiss Francis has ever experienced an intelligent conversation—at least one she’s capable of understanding.”
“Oh, I assure you, she understood your meaning,” Eleanor said, blushing. “I-I can’t quite believe you suggested that she—that she…”
“Sweep the floor?” Mimi said. “Yes—an outrageous idea that a woman of her disposition would ever sweep a floor.”
“Eleanor what are you doing?”
Mimi turned to see Whitcombe approaching, Alexander at his side.
“It’s all right, Montague,” Eleanor said. “I was—”
“I saw Lady Rex almost drag you out of the ballroom,” he said. “I’ve left your food at your seat. Lady Rex, what are you about?”
Mimi cringed at the thinly veiled anger in Whitcombe’s tone.
“I say, Whitcombe, there’s no need—” Alexander began.
