Page 92 of Doxy for the Ton
“Devil’s bones, woman!” he cried, sitting up. “What the bloody hell did you dothatfor?”
He glanced at his upper arms, which were now smeared with blood—blood to match that under her fingernails.
Fuck—that hurt!
She stared back at him, eyes wide, a feral fear glimmering in their depths.
“You’re despicable!” she cried. “Can’t you honor our arrangement, if nothing else? You can take my body—use it as you wish. Why must you demand more?” She shook her head. “Perhaps I should have realized. You’re all the same. You feel entitled to take what you want if you throw coin at it, and us lesser beings will be grateful for the scraps you condescend to give us.”
“Scraps?” he said. “If I recall, you negotiated a hard bargain for your body. Two thousand guineas is a pretty price for a doxy.”
“And it’s nothing to a selfish reprobate who wastes the life and advantages he was born with,” she snarled. “You spend all day indulging in debauchery, when you could be so much more!”
“What would you have me do when the worldexpectsme to indulge in the pleasures to be enjoyed by a man in my position?”
“So you live a wastrel lifestyle because Society expects it?” she said, bitter laughter in her voice. “You know nothing of the true nature of nobility if you believe your title gives you free rein to act as you do. A man of your rank does not live in isolation, does he?”
“I am my own man, Mimi.”
“And what of those whose lives depend on you?” she asked. “The tenants at your estate—the servants who cook your meals, clean your house, and even dress you because you’re incapable of buttoning a waistcoat yourself?”
“My steward sees to them.”
“So you absolve yourself of your responsibility to care for them? What if they fall ill, are unable to work, or are preyed upon by the unscrupulous? What if they’re left destitute by circumstances within your control but without theirs. Must they suffer?”
A tear swelled in her eyes, and he brushed it away with his thumb, then lifted it to his lips, tasting the salt.
“Mimi, I understand—”
“You understand nothing, Your Grace.”
“Then show me,” he said. “My ignorance may be due to my station in life, but I can change if you’ll teach me. You’re already teaching me what it means to be honorable.”
She frowned and opened her mouth to respond.
“I am aware that I’m an appallingly bad pupil,” he said. “Willful, unintelligent… But I’m eager to learn—to change—if you’d let me. Is that not why we made our arrangement? So I could be a better man?”
“I thought it was so you could give theappearanceof goodness, to enable you to resume your life of debauchery unhindered by the disapproval of others.”
Her words cut through his heart.
“You make me quite ashamed, Mimi,” he said. “But you can teach me to be better. Perhaps I can teach you in return.”
“What can you teach me about?”
“Trust,” he said. “I can teach you that there are some in the world in whom you can place your trust.”
“I’ve survived five years trusting no one,” she said. “I see no reason to change now.”
“Pleasure, then,” he said, shifting his body, still inside her.
Her eyes widened, as if he’d caught her unawares, and her jaw bulged as she gritted her teeth.
“Wait,” she said.
“Until what?” he asked. “Until you can let your mind slip sideways once more, so you can deny the pleasure that you crave?”
“I will not become a slave to pleasure,” she said. “Not even for a moment.”
