Page 119 of Doxy for the Ton
“Tell me!” he said. “Is it all just a game to you?”
“No, it’s not a game!” she cried. “Yes, I loved him—as one loves a dear friend. He was kind and gentle—almost like…an uncle. H-he looked after me when I had nowhere to go. And then he…”
She shuddered and let out a sob.
“He what?” Alexander said, swallowing his nausea. “He took advantage of you? An older man taking in a young girl then using her as—as his…”
“It wasn’t like that!”
“He’s a cad, Mimi—he deserves to be shot.”
She shook her head. “He was the kindest man I’d ever known. He gave more than he ever took.”
“What, money, jewels, silk gowns?” Alexander winced at the bitterness in his voice. “Ican give you that.”
“Hegave me consideration, and respect,” she said. “Many men will throw trinkets at a whore so she’ll part her thighs, but few will give her kindness. Do you know why?”
“Pray, tell me.”
“Kindness is the one gift that’s given without condition, because it is a gift of the heart.”
“Then why aren’t you with him now?”
“Because he died.”
She crossed the floor and climbed onto a chair, tucking her legs beneath her. Then she rocked back and forth. Alexander’s heart ached to see the vulnerability in her eyes.
“What happened?” he whispered.
“I waited for him one morning, but he never came. Instead, his son…h-his son strode into my home, told me his father was dead, and threw me out—but not before he tried to force himself on me.” She dipped her head. “My one consolation is that…that kind, gentle soul never knew the depths of his son’s depravity.”
“Dear Lord, Mimi,” Alexander said. “Who is he? Do I know him?”
“It matters not who he is,” she said. “What matters is that I swore, from that day, never to be beholden to a man again, no matter how much he may profess to love me.”
“But surely you don’t thinkI’dtreat you so abominably?”
He placed a hand on her shoulder, and she stiffened.
“I don’t care that you sold your body for a living before we met,” he said. “Do you think I care that you were some man’s mistress?”
She looked away.
“I was pregnant.”
Alexander let out a curse. His gut twisted in revulsion, and he withdrew his hand. She lifted her gaze, her eyes glazed with pain.
“That’s the one sin a man in your position can never forgive—isn’t it, Your Grace?”
“No, you misunderstand me!” he said. “You were wronged. You think I’d blameyou—or the child you bore—for the sins of the man who took advantage of you? Where is the child?”
“I lost it,” she said. “So you’re spared the indignity ofthat, at least.”
He drew her into his arms. At first, she resisted, then the fight drained from her body and she lay limply against him.
“My love, I’dneverthrow you out,” he said. “I can gift you a house—thishouse, if the landlord is amenable to selling. Or I’ll buy you another. All I ask is that you let me visit you from time to time.”
He took her hands and kneeled before her.
