Page 129 of Heartbreaker of the Ton
“I didn’t think—”
“No,” she said. “Youdidn’tthink. And neither did I. I must apologize.”
“You have no need to apologize to me,” he said. “Quite the opposite.”
“Nevertheless, I apologize for wasting your time. I see now that you are quite unsuitable as a dinner partner for my friend. Ihave grown to admire her since her return from exile—a woman who has striven to make an independent life for herself and for her son. But Mrs. Smith’s revelation has shown me how wrong I was. I have not admired Etty nearly as much as she deserves.”
“Neither have I,” Andrew said.
“Then perhaps you should have told her that before you broke her heart.”
“How did you know—”
“A womanknows, Lord Radham,” she said. “Do you think we do nothing but sit in silence and let our minds and bodies be ruled by our husbands? Or do we watch and listen, gaining an understanding of those we encounter? It was plain to see that Juliette had suffered greatly when she came to us. Not the ruination and disgrace that drove her into exile, for she has reconciled herself to that—nor the gift of her son, whom she loves more than her own life.”
“Then what?”
“She has lost herfaith, Lord Radham. For a woman in this world, faith is often all she has—faith that she will be loved for who she is, without judgment or expectation of reward, but for herself.”
Lost her faith…
When a soul lost their faith, they often believed that the world was a better place without them.
A ripple of fear threaded through Andrew, and he glanced toward the door, willing Loveday to return, Etty by her side.
Hurried footsteps approached, and he caught his breath, buoyed by hope as Loveday appeared at the door.
But she was alone.
“Oh, your ladyship!” she cried, panting. “It’s Miss Juliette!”
The murmur of chatter among the guests ceased.
“Has she been taken ill?” Andrew asked. “Loveday—take me to her.”
“I-I can’t do that, sir.”
“She doesn’t want to see me?”
“It’s not that,” Loveday said. “She’sgone!”
“Surely she can’t have gone,” Lady Arabella said. “She’ll be with her son if she’s not in her chamber.”
Loveday shook her head, her face streaked with tears. “I checked,” she said. “Mistress Juliette has gone without her son—she’s taken her cloak. Sh-she was so distressed when she came back from her walk, but I said nothing. What if she’s had an accident? It’s all my fault!”
Andrew’s gut twisted with horror. It wasn’t Loveday’s fault.
It washis.
Chapter Thirty
The shame thathad gripped Etty while she fled from the building and out into the night lessened as she toiled her way through the forest.
Sharp shadows sliced across the path, picking out the shapes of the stones, which glowed in the cold blue moonlight.
What must he think of her? What must theyallthink of her? A fallen woman with nothing to offer other than her dowry, on the hunt for a man so desperate for cash that he was willing to take on soiled goods with a bastard clinging to her skirts. Rumor had it that such women had to debase themselves in order to secure a husband—parading themselves in gaming hells where such matches were brokered.
She’d been a fool to think that even Bella’s friends would look upon her with anything other than disgust. The ladies might perhaps have been persuaded. But as to their husbands…
