Page 40 of Heartbreaker of the Ton
At length, he resumed his gaze on her. “I’m sorry.”
Etty sipped her tea. “I assure you, Frances has heard much worse, and I doubt she caught your meaning.”
He set his cup aside and leaned forward. Etty’s heart jolted as he took her hand, his warm fingers roughed with toil interlocking with hers.
“No, daughter,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry for what happened to you.”
“It was my own doing. As you said.”
“You may have been the one to…” He paused, as if searching for a polite turn of phrase.
Go on, Papa—tell me that I tried to ruin my sister out of spite, spread my legs for a lecher, and birthed his bastard. Go on—Idareyou.
“It matters not what you did,” he finally said. “What matters is where the true responsibility lies. There is only one person to blame. And that is myself.”
Her hand slipped, and she winced as tea spilled onto her skirts. “Y-you?”
He frowned, a flicker of pain in his eyes. “Yes, my daughter,” he said. “Forgive me.”
He squeezed her hand in a gesture of affection she’d not experienced before.
“You were such a beautiful child, you see, that I believed you had no need of my help,” he said. “We live in a world where beauty and elegance are valued above all else. Your poor sister has always been so painfully shy and awkward, so out of place in Society. You outshone her in beauty and grace almost from the moment you were born—everybodyremarked on it. And so I believed Eleanor’s need was greater than yours. And that was my greatest mistake. Her need was not greater—only different.”
He glanced away, and she caught a glistening of moisture in his eyes.
“I failed you, Juliette,” he said. “And for that, I am very sorry.”
“Etty,” she whispered.
He raised his eyebrows. “I beg pardon?”
“Juliette is no more,” Etty said. “I have no wish to be reminded of my past. And”—she glanced toward the door—“Eleanor made many friends here. Friends who would rightly condemn me for what I did, if they knew who I was.”
He patted her hand and smiled. “I understand. Eleanor came here to start again. It’s only right that you be permitted to do the same. I’m no advocate for running from one’s past, but everyone deserves a second chance.”
“Even me?”
He flinched at the sharpness in her tone. “I think perhapsI’mmore in need of a second chance.” He blinked, and Etty’s heart ached to see moisture in the eyes of a man she’d believed incapable of emotion. Even when he’d condemned her for her actions, he’d delivered his lecture in his usual toneless manner, as if reading from a legal document.
“Papa…”
He lifted his hand to wipe away a bead of moisture on his cheek. “You see, Eleanor was mine,” he said. “The quiet, serious child who rarely smiled and disliked company. You, on the other hand—bright, vibrant, with a smile for everyone—you were your mother’s.”
Etty flinched at the mention of the parent who had raged at her, delivering a tirade of admonishments. But her mother’s rage she could weather better than her father’s measured disappointment.
“How is…Mother?”
He patted her hand. “As well as can be expected. Her nerves still plague her, but we do the best we can. And, of course, she has a duchess for a daughter now, which gives her comfort.”
“I daresay she’s now claimed Eleanor ashers, given Eleanor’s greater worth.”
He frowned and let out a sigh.
“Forgive me, Papa,” Etty said. “I did not mean to speak ill of Mother. I’m responsible for her…disappointment.” She shook her head. “I know you’ll never believe me, but I’m sorry for what I did.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he replied. “I should have been firmer, done more to unite you and Eleanor. You’re more alike than you may think, Juliette. I’m only ashamed that I never gave you the chance to discover your similarities rather than emphasize your differences.” His lips curved into a smile. “Eleanor sends her love.”
“Is she well?”
