Page 147 of Harpy of the Ton
“Didyouknow about this, Mr. Ryman?” Sam asked. Sophie stopped crying and stared at her uncle.
Ned colored and nodded.
Sam let out a whistle. “Bloody hell.”
“Sophie?” Ned approached her, but she raised her hand.
“Don’t come near me, Uncle.”
“ItoldLawrence to tell her,” Ned said.
“Why didn’t you tell her yourself? Were you too weak?”
“It wasn’t my place.”
She nodded. “So, youweretoo weak.” She turned to Lawrence. “Bothof you, weak men, too afraid to say or do what’s right if it risks making your pathetic lives less comfortable.”
“Perhaps Iamweak,” Lawrence said. “I was wrong at first—I know that. Do you think I’ve not suffered in the knowledge that I’ve been doin’ something so wrong? I’m still suffering.”
“Well, forgive me for not carin’ one jot about your suffering,” she retorted.
“I suffer because I love her!” Lawrence said. “Maybe not at first—though it touched my heart when I first saw her to see her so unhappy with people who only valued her for what they could take from her.”
“Makes them no different to you.”
“Icared,” he said. “I cared that she was condemning herself to a life of misery. I hated her at first—her vile temper, the way she considered the world beneath her. But as I came to know her, I realized that was an act she played to survive. She played the part well—the haughty lady, taking satisfaction from wielding power over others—but the loss of her memory freed her true self. The woman who emerged and blossomed into Bella—my Bella—was the purest soul on this earth. And when she smiled”—he hesitated, beset by the memory of her beautiful smile, her sapphire eyes illuminated with love—“it made my soul sing. Lady Arabella never smiled. But when my Bella first smiled at me, she captivated my soul. I resolved, then, to spend the rest of my life ensuring that she never stopped smiling.” He shook his head. “How could I tell her the truth, knowing that if I did, her smile would die? I loved her too much to do that to her. I…”
His breath caught as he fought to withstand the agony in his heart.
“So help me God, I know I’m destined for hell, but Iloveher. I know she’ll never forgive me, and I’ll have to make peace with that. B-but I cannot bear the thought of her being in the hands of a man who will never value her, much less love her. She deserves to be loved.”
He looked up, but tears clouded his vision, turning his companions into blurred shapes.
“Thatis why I suffer—not in knowing what I have lost, but in knowing what life awaits her. Even if she hates me with every fiber of her being, I shall always love her.”
He flinched as Sophie approached him. Then she lifted a hand and placed it on his jaw where she’d struck him moments before.
“I understand,” she said. “Love can catch you unawares. It can creep into your heart and settle there. It’s the most joyous thing in the world, but with the sweet comes the bitter, for the loss of a loved one cannot be borne.”
A sob swelled in Lawrence’s throat, and she drew him into her arms.
“Sophie, love…” Sam said.
“Oh, shoo! Both of you, go and find the children.”
“They’re in the garden,” Lawrence said. “They’re refusing to come in.”
“They’ll come around,” Sophie said. “Children are resilient. Despite what you’ve done, I can see you’re a good father to them. They’ll forgive you.”
“And Bella?”
“Not even her memory coming back can destroy the love she bore you.”
“She didn’t—”
“Yes, she did,” Sophie said. “She’ll forgive you in the end. But you must reconcile yourself to one possibility.”
“Which is?”
