Page 136 of Oddity of the Ton
Then, with a rattle of crockery, he set his teacup down and sat beside her.
“Thereisa man,” she said. “A man that I—”
“Don’t speak of it,” he said, and she flinched.
But what did she expect? Ofcoursehe’d judge her. Who wouldn’t—particularly a vicar?
Then his warm hand took hers. She glanced up, meeting his gaze, expecting to see disgust.
But she only saw understanding.
“I had wondered if you were unmarried,” he said. “Your maid often refers to you as ‘miss,’ and though at first I thought it a slip of the tongue—particularly if she’d served you before your marriage—you often seemed uneasy being referred to as Mrs. Riley.”
“Then you’re more observant than most.”
“In my vocation, observation is a necessity. As is the capacity to listen without judgment.”
“I fear you may condemn me for having sinned,” she said.
“We’re all sinners in the eyes of the Almighty,” he replied softly. “It’s in our nature. Every day we commit thoughtless acts that serve our own gratification at the expense of others. Who amIto dictate what is, and isn’t, a sin? We must all look to our own hearts—and consciences. Did you love him?”
She hesitated, then nodded slowly, biting her lip to stem the tears.
“I see,” he whispered.
She tried to withdraw her hand, but he caught it in both hands and held it firm.
“No. Eleanor—if you’ll permit me to call you by your given name—there’s no sin in having loved another. And whatever happened, I can see you suffer for it.”
“H-how do you know?”
He stroked the back of her hand. “The first time I set eyes on you at church—sitting in a pew at the back, set apart from the rest of the congregation, with your maid beside you—I saw pain and weariness in your eyes. In the weeks since your arrival, that pain may have lessened, but it’s still there, isn’t it?”
“Perhaps.”
“Then I would venture to say that, rather than having been the sinner, you were sinned against.”
She reached for her teacup and took a sip.
“Did he take advantage of you?”
Her teacup rattled against the saucer as she looked up. “Did hewhat?”
“It happens more often than you might think. A young woman, blinded by love and tempted by promises, accepts a man’s attentions, only to find herself heartbroken, abandoned, and ruined.” He shook his head. “Some men are utter cads.”
“Reverend, I—”
“No, Eleanor,” he interrupted. “He’sthe sinner—and is, no doubt, indulging in sin while you live in obscurity, shouldering the burden of his whim. If there were any justice in the world, I’d—”
“Please!” she cried. “It wasn’t like that.”
“I’ll wager every naïve young girl has said that after finding herself abandoned, willingly taking on the sins of a blackguard because she’s foolish enough to—”
She withdrew her hand. “I’m no fool—and he didn’t abandon me! We had an agreement. W-we were always going to part. It wasmydoing. I wanted to know what it might be like—just once—to be loved. Truly loved.”
“Yet he didn’t love you in return.”
“Perhaps he did,” she whispered. “But not enough.”
