Page 156 of Oddity of the Ton
“Lady Marlow said you’d accompanied your father to France when you were a child. She assured me you never accompanied him to the Far East, but I’d have sailed there if I had to.”
“Why?”
“Do you not know, my Eleanor?” he whispered. “What else is a man in love to do when he cannot bear to be apart from the one woman who can make him whole?”
“But we agreed—”
“Speak no more of that,” he said, his voice hoarse. “It pains me to recollect the arrangement I imposed on you. I was a selfish creature, thinking only of myself, and I convinced myself that you’d benefit as much from our arrangement as I. But what I didn’t bargain for was how deeply I’d come to love you.”
He drew her to him, and she surrendered to the need to feel his arms around her.
“Oh, my Eleanor—my darling,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “I promised to teach you the ways of the world, toelevate your position in Society. But instead, you taught me more than I could ever teach you.”
“Me?”
“Yes, my dear one,” he said. “You taught me to view the world with different eyes—to appreciate that there are angels who walk among us who should not be fashioned into Society’s ideal, but who should be celebrated and valued exactly as they are.”
Eleanor heard a footstep, and she glanced to one side to see Mr. Staines retreating, his eyes filled with sorrow.
“Are you leaving, Mr. Staines?”
He nodded, then let out a sigh. “I love you, Eleanor,” he said quietly. “I’d hoped that might be enough for the both of us. But…” He hesitated, then shook his head. “I believe there’s one who loves you more. And while I want nothing more than to see him turn on his tail and leave you be—what I want is immaterial compared to what would makeyouhappy. I cannot compete with him.”
“Are you saying that you cannot compete with a duke?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “I’m saying that I cannot compete with the man you love.”
“I’ve never said—”
“You neverhadto say it, Eleanor. Had you said it outright, I’d have doubted your conviction, for we say what we want others to believe. It’s only through what we don’t say that we convey our true feelings. I’ve seen the longing in your eyes, and though I wished it was for me, I knew it was for another. Forhim.”
Then he turned to Montague. “But let me say this, Whitcombe. You’re the luckiest man on this earth to have secured her heart. I pray to the Almighty you’ll take the best care of it. If you don’t, I’ll make a pact with the devil to hunt you down and deliver retribution, even if it condemns my soul for eternity.”
Montague’s lips twitched into a smile. “Your soul is safe, Mr. Staines, and though we can never be friends, I honor you for your praise and understanding of her.”
Then he took Eleanor’s hand and lifted it to his mouth. Her body tightened with need at the sensation of his lips against her skin.
“Eleanor, my darling,” he whispered. “Would you make me the happiest of men and consent to become my wife?”
She tempered the flare of joy.
“I-I have no wish to be pitied, or wed out of a sense of obligation.”
He shook his head. “My love—what will it take for me to convince you that I don’t ask out of a sense of obligation? I ask because it is whatIwant. My hand is yours if you wish it. My heart, and my soul, will forever be yours.”
“A-and you mean it?”
“I do.” He lowered to his knees and placed his head on her stomach. “My beloved Eleanor,” he said, “it pains me that you still doubt my intentions. I came here with one purpose—to make you mine. I returned to London to confess my love. I’ll admit a spell of selfish joy in hearing that you’d not wed Colonel Reid—but my heart shattered when I heard about the pictures. If only I’d been there to defend you against your sister! I’d have declared to the world that you were the most delectable, beautiful, wonderful creature in the world, and that I had no shame in loving you in every manner possible.”
His chest rose and fell in a sigh. “I want nothing more than to sweep you into my arms, take you back to the inn, and make love to you all afternoon. But…” He hesitated and caught his breath. “If you love another, I shan’t stand in your way—not out of a wish to surrender, but out of a wish to place your happiness above my own.”
“You would let me go?”
He tilted his head until their eyes met. “I want you to be free,” he said. “I’ll give you the freedom to do what you wish—to paint, to live your life how you see fit, in your own unique way, unbound by the constraints of Society. I can give that to you—and as my duchess, I can spend the rest of my days loving you. If you desire freedom from me, then I’ll accept defeat and leave you in peace. But you shall, forever, be my model of what a good soul and a kind heart should be. I will return to Rosecombe knowing that while I cannot have my heart’s desire, I can, at least, cherish the memory of having had the privilege of having you in my life, if only for a short while.”
His words, and the raw, honest plea in his sapphire eyes, unlocked her heart. She blinked, and a tear splashed onto her cheek. He reached up to wipe it away.
“Shed no tears for me, my love.”
