Page 68 of Her Dark Seduction
Chapter 20
The sound of crying interrupted my dreams. For a moment I thought Vane had returned, but I was alone in the bed and had been since the birth of my son. Geoffrey screamed in anger, his little body tangled in the blanket in the makeshift cot Jack had placed beside the bed. Lifting him out, I held him close, opening my nightshift. He instinctively turned his head to my breast and reached out with his little hand, stroking it as he took his nourishment. As the milk flowed from my body into his, I understood, at last, the true meaning of love, but I didn’t fear it. I understood why Maman was willing to suffer pain, even death. Here, in my arms, lay someone I loved unconditionally and valued over my own life.
I wanted to get up, to smell fresh air and feel the sun on my skin, but the midwife had warned me of a virulent sickness in the village which had struck down a number of babies and children. Fear for Geoffrey’s safety kept me inside.
Lily avoided me, making no effort to disguise her hostility. Jack visited me in my room but despite my daily pleas for Vane he could not tell me where his brother was, or even if he would return. I was grateful for Edwina’s company. The midwife’s caring nature and gentle hands were so like my beloved Harwyn’s and under her care I recovered quickly. While tending to my sore body she sang to Geoffrey, the same lullabies Maman had sung to me.
When Edwina left the room, two days after Geoffrey’s birth, Jack brought in a tray of bread and porridge.
“How is my nephew today?”
I smiled. “He is beautiful.”
“’Tis good to see you smile thus. Your love is obvious. I cannot understand your reluctance to show it.”
“Jack, please…”
“Are you so afraid to love, Lisetta? Afraid it will destroy you or, perhaps, you’ll be rejected?”
“I have already been rejected.”
He set the tray down and sat beside the bed, stroking Geoffrey’s head.
“I’m sorry you and Lily never had children of your own,” I said. “Lily would have been a wonderful mother.”
“As will you be, dear sister.”
I didn’t reply, and he turned his blue gaze on me. “You have not been rejected, Lisetta.”
“Then where is he?”
Jack leaned forward and kissed me on the forehead. “He will return to you. Have faith.”
His voice was filled with uncertainty. He was trying to convince himself as much as me.
****
Almost a sennight later, Vane had still not returned, and I lost hope that he ever would, or at least that he would return for me. Jack’s kindness was a comfort but Lily made it increasingly plain she did not want me in her home.
An idea, once pushed to the recesses of my mind, began to resurface. The convent near Shoreton, to where I’d thought to flee when I left Mortlock. It was somewhere safe where I could live with Geoffrey in peace, surrounded by a community whose purpose in life was contemplation, reflection, and healing. There I could lead a simple life, away from treachery, murder, and unrequited love. I still had my rings—trinkets to pay for my passage. The journey would be difficult in winter, but not impossible if I could find someone to help me.
Eventually I asked Edwina. The sickness in the village was spreading and many children had succumbed to it. My pleas for Geoffrey’s safety, together with Lily’s obvious wish to be rid of me, finally persuaded her. Though uncomfortable with the deception, at my bidding, she sold one of my rings in the village. An honest and trustworthy woman, she got a good price and used some of it to secure my passage to a market town several days’ ride away. She tipped the remainder of the money into my hand. I gave her some, ignoring her protests, telling her there were few people in the world worthy of trust, and they had to be rewarded.
In the dark of the night, she led me out of the house to the tavern where a young man waited for me with a horse and cart. I had a basket over my arm with a loaf of bread and a change of clothes. Geoffrey, wrapped in a blanket in my other arm, was asleep.
“Tom here will take you to the tavern at Midford and will make enquiries there for someone to take you further.”
“Can he be trusted?”
“I brought him into the world, my lady. I would trust him with my life.”
“God be with you, Edwina. I’ll never forget your kindness.”
She embraced me. “And also with you. Take care of the little one.”
“I will,” I replied, choking back tears. “He is all I have.”
Tom helped me onto the seat next to him and dropped my basket into the cart before covering my legs with a blanket.
