Page 59 of Stoplight
He sighed, leaning over the island. “He’s getting impatient. You know, he wants to live this life out loud, and I get it…” He paused. “But he don’t understand my stance. Even when I told him in the beginning that I couldn’t be out like that, he still doesn’t care.”
“Aww, he just wants all of you, Van.”
“I understand it, but I can’t live like that.” His frustration was obvious by his rumpled forehead. “Shit ain’t that simple for me.”
“Can I ask you something?”
He bobbed his head.
“Can you truly say that you know who you are? Meaning, are you living the life you truly want or are you living to fulfill someone else’s expectations?” Irish leaned forward, drawing closer to him. “Think about it. You were thrown into this life to prove a point. What if this isn’t you? What if you were meant to live your life out loud without judgment from others?”
A dumbfounded expression covered his visage. “Without judgement from others? Be for real, Irish. You know I would be judged like a mothafucka.”
“Not if you’re being true to yourself.”
Jovanis flicked his hand dismissively. “Get your head out the clouds. You know our life, and you know what I went through. Shit ain’t gon’ be as simple as you making it seem.”
For a brief moment, Irish’s reverie traveled back to their upbringing. It was the chapters in their book that she wished she could rip out and throw into the ocean. Life had been hard for her and Jovanis, which was why they bonded so well. They shared a love, but also a struggle, and trauma that was woven deeply in their past.
“Maybe you’re right. I just want you to be happy.”
A semblance of a smile settled on his lips. “I’m always happy as long as I got you.” He kissed her cheek, prompting a smile to surface on her face. “I’m ‘bout to get in the shower.”
Irish nodded as he walked down the hallway. She waited a few minutes before she stepped out on the back deck and dialed Noble’s number.
“You know I don’t do this phone call shit,” he answered.
“This won’t take long. I have to say you are a very messy man, Noble.” She grinned, glancing over her shoulder to ensure Jovanis wasn’t near.
“Messy? Nah, a man like me ain’t never been that.”
She could tell he was smiling through his words.
“Oh, so sending me a beautiful arrangement of chocolate-covered strawberries to my house knowing Jovanis is here isn’t messy?”
“No, it’s not.”
“Then, what do you call it?”
“I call it a man who wants to show someone how special she is. You know, make sure she knows she’s on a nigga’s mind. That type of shit.”
Irish clutched the collar of her silk robe, swooning from his words.
“How the hell did you get my address?”
“That’s light work, Irish. I can find out anything about you.”
“I doubt it.”
“You wanna try me?”
She pondered for a moment then replied, “Never mind.”
He snorted. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. What you got going on today?”
“I’m getting my hair done then will probably stop at my storage to pick up inventory. I’m sure I need to ship some orders.
“Oh, yeah? How you getting your hair?”
