Page 29 of Stoplight
Here she was again, riding shotgun with a man she had been secretly interested in. What would Jovanis say about this? She knew him like she knew the thread counts on different fabrics. This was too close to home for Jovanis. A man that gave him orders wouldn’t be his first choice for Irish. Somehow, her husband’s approval wasn’t a factor right now. Jovanis was doinghim and with no protest from her, so why couldn’t she do the same?
The sounds of Jay-Z’sThe Preludebrought her back to reality. Noble drove, bobbing his head while Irish watched him closely. He was a smooth man as he whipped the luxury car with one hand. When they arrived at the beach, he got out and Irish followed suit. Grabbing her hand, he led them to a tower that gave them a rapturous view of the ocean.
“You’re showing me all kinds of secret spots that I wasn’t aware of,” she joked.
He eyed her. “You haven’t seen much, huh?”
Honestly, Irish shook her head. “Not really. My upbringing didn’t allow me to explore like that.”
“You smoke?”
Quickly, she shook her head. “No.”
“Good.” He pulled out a blunt. “You don’t need to.”
She grinned as he lit the end and inhaled the contents. “Are you one of those men who don’t like women who smoke?”
“No, I just like thatyoudon’t smoke.”
The skunky smell of marijuana surrounded them as the nighttime wind blew through her ginger hair.
“What’s on your mind?” he asked.
She exhaled, silently picking what she wanted to converse about first.
“I don’t know… I feel like I’ve been stuck in this state of uncertainty for a while. It feels like I’m lost a lil’ bit.”
“Lost about what? Your love life? Your career? Sanity?”
“Everything. There’s something missing in my life, and I’m not sure what it is. I have my brand, which is doing good, butI want it to be better. I can see celebrities wearing it and making it a luxury brand. My love life is… well, it could be better. I guess I just need some excitement in my life.” She chuckled. “Am I boring you?”
“No.” He simpered, gazing deeply into her eyes. “Keep talking.”
“Well, yeah, I need some excitement. I live vicariously through my friend and my sister. They have exciting lives and then there’s me. A married woman with no romance who throws herself into work just to avoid the obvious. I’m even thinking about going back to school again. Maybe I’ll find my spark through a couple of classes.”
“No, you know what you need? You need to start living for yourself.”
Irish turned to him, her ginger brows fixed in a rumple. “What do you mean?”
“What are you doing for yourself? Do you do anything that means a lot to you?”
She pondered for a brief moment before responding, “Yeah, I have my brand—”
“I’m not talking about that,” he interrupted her. “I’m talking about you doing something that’s just for you. Your brand is your passion, but does it feed your soul?”
Irish mulled over his question. She loved everything about fashion and was ecstatic to own her own clothing brand, but it didn’t keep her warm at night. It didn’t bathe her in the kind of love that she’d been chasing all of her life.
“No, it doesn't,” she admitted.
“I figured that.” Smoke sauntered from his parted lips. “You gotta start living for you. I haven’t spent much time aroundyou, but I can tell you got a lot of burdens you carry. Give that shit up and start being selfish.”
“You say that like it’s easy, Noble.”
“It is. Do you have children?”
“No.”
“Then, you can be as selfish as you want. Start living, Irish. Take some solo trips. Figure out what you like and what you want. Say no sometimes. Just start living for you.”
