Page 31 of Always
Chapter Fourteen
Raven.
We get back to my grandfather's luxurious hotel where I spent so many summers growing up with Aleksi and Ivan in tow.
As soon as we enter the suite, we all collapse on the oversized, antique couches with groans. I need a shower. Badly. But Aleksi keeps eyeing me and I make a motion with my head to ask himwhat?
He sighs and pulls up his black backpack and takes out his laptop. He’s been looking at me weird since I left the interrogation room. I know Maverick was translating everything between me and my mother out loud to Damon so I know he heard it all. I refuse to be embarrassed.
Just like I refuse to let go of this symphony tapping against my temples.
I know whatever happens between Sofia and I will be just that - my burden to carry alone. I don’t know when that time will come, but when it does, I will be ready.
“I’m going to chop this up, edit it as best as I can and then post it. I’m really glad you said not to stream it yet because it would have incriminated you. But… the shit she said beforehand… it’ll ruin her.” He smiles but it doesn’t reach his soft brown eyes. I hate the pity in them.
“P…Post it.” I agree, looking away.
Like I knew they wouldn’t, my men don’t argue. Maverick puts his hand on my thigh and gives me a light squeeze as Aleksi works his magic and soon… “Done.”
It takes a total of fourteen minutes for all of our phones to ping over and over and over again. But it’s not just our socials. It’s media headlines. I scroll through them quickly.
SOFIA MONROE - FATPHOBIC
SOFIA MONROE FASHIONS - STOCK PRICES PLUMMET
SOFIA MONROE -
SOFIA MONROE -
SOFIA MONROE -RUINED
Maverick clears his throat and sniffs. “Well… I think it’s time for a nap. Aleks, Ivan, there are two other rooms in this suite if you’d like to use them. We’ll be in the primary if you need us.” He stands quickly, bends to scoop me into his arms without another word and takes me straight to the bathroom. Damon turns on the faucet to the bathtub and Jonas helps me undress.
“... all you have to offer is the fat twat between your fat thighs.”
I can’t help it. I cross an arm over my naked chest and use my other hand to cup my naked, well abused sex. For the first time in a very long time, I feel ashamed of my body. Ashamed of the way my hips are wider than my shoulders and the cellulite on my thighs that stays there no matter how many squats I do with Jonas. Ashamed of the pooch I have on my stomach that I can never get rid of. Ashamed of the way my breasts sag just a bit thanks to gravity.
Fucking Sofia.
“Baby?”
I look at the ground through blurry eyes, the tears falling faster than I can make them stop. But they’re not of sadness,they’re of anger. I let her get in my head. I let her get in my head and at this very moment, Ihatemyself for that. I was doing good. I was doingsogood. I keep my head bowed but Jonas tenderly brings it up by hooking his finger under my chin and forcing me to look up at him. I snap my eyes shut.
“Baby, you gotta look at me.”
I shake my head violently, swallowing down all of these emotions as much as I can along with whatever snot wants to make its way out. I was doingso goodand she got in my head. She called me out on my insecurities, vocalized them so loudly they burrowed beneath every layer of my skin like tiny insects.
“Siren.”
Dammit. “No,” I croak, still unwilling to open my eyes because if I do, I’ll have to meet all of their scrutinizing gazes. Their pity. I can't handle that.
“None of what your mother said was true, Amourette.”
But I nod, feeling the warmth of my tears trailing to the sides, beneath my temples. And that’s where my hands go- into my hair so I can pull the words out. I sink down on my haunches and tug harder, faster, feeling the strands tear at my roots. I need the words out. I need them out of my head my head my head. OUT!
FUCK! I let out a frustrated scream when I’m forcibly stopped and sitting in Damon’s lap with my arms restrained at my sides and all I can do is struggle in his stronghold. My straitjacket. My anchor.
“Ouch. Fuck. Stop it Raven. Stop. It. I’mhere. Notin there. Talk to me, Amourette.” I don’t want him to use his doctor voice on me. I can feel him shaking his head and I know he’s signaling to Maverick and Jonas not to touch me right now.And I hate myself just a little more for letting them see this side of me. The broken side. I choke out a sob and fall limp in Damon’s embrace.
