Page 81 of Cedar Edge
“I should be more haunted by the deaths I caused but all I feel is peace.” I say to the horse in front of me. “Does that make me a bad person?”
Katana snorts, her head shaking as though her response is a resounding no. I smile, stroking her beautiful face.
“For once Katana and I agree on something." Law’s deep voice comes from behind and my body seems to relax, tension flooding from me that I didn’t realize I was holding. It’s been two weeks since that night in the penthouse and in those two weeks the news has reported on the penthouse catching fire, all occupants lost to the flames. One story and nothing since. For all of Royce’s power even he couldn’t hold sway over death.
Law doesn’t move to come into the stable with me and Katana, the horse still hates him. “You’ve been avoiding me.” I say into the silence. The relief I had felt in knowing he was alive was short lived. He’s stayed as far from me as he can get since Logan and Ace brought me back. Leaving before I’m awake to god knows where considering he’s still on medical leave and returning after Logan and Ace have exhausted me.
Law lets out a long sigh, not responding. I take my time, brushing her down, refusing to rush. We had gone for a long and hard ride, she deserves the pampering. Off to the side Daylily stands, head bobbing, as she waits her turn. Our rides are more leisurely, never trotting or running, but none the less they feel just as important. Only when I’m completely finished with Katana do I turn and face him.
My heart cracks when I look at him, the deep circles under his eyes, the way his beard and hair are unkempt. I can just make out, under his thick jacket, the sling his arm is still in. His own gaze stays trained to the ground, even when my boots land me directly in front of his body leaning against the hay bails, he still looks at the ground. “Law?”
“I didn’t know if you’d want me around.”
The words shock me, my body reeling back as though he physically hit me. “What are you talking about?”
He winces, running his hand through his hair before he finally looks at me. His eyes glittering with too many emotions to categorize. “I didn’t do anything to keep you safe. Not adamn thing.” More confusion pulses through me, his words not making sense. “As much as I hated Ace for doing it, at least he did the tracker. Fuck even Logan has his weird spy shit that he did! I was here, I had you in my sights and I let him take you.” The frustration mounts in his body and he pushes away from the hay and my body.
“Law that’s not true, you’ve always kept me safe. You got shot for god's sake! I thought you were dead because you took literal bullets trying to get to me!” My voice raises in something akin to frustration.
He shakes his head with a defeated laugh. “I was stupid, running up like I did. I just panicked when I saw him dragging you to that helicopter.” Memories swirl back of the sound of the gun going off, of Law’s shocked face, of the blood pouring from him as he hit the ground. “I couldn’t think straight. I’m a cop, Thea, I should have known better and because of my fuck up you were in his hands for weeks!”
The guilt Law feels is crushing, the feeling taking up residence in my bones even as I watch him wrestle with it all.
“You tried to get to me, you risked your life! You almost died!” I counter, pushing towards him. I lock my hand around his good one, forcing his body to stop moving. My other hand drifts to his chest, the bullet wounds still healing. Logan had told me exactly how touch and go it had been, only after I badgered him into it.
“I should have died.” His words have me stumbling backward.
“Don’t you ever say that again!” I cry. “Do you know what it was like that first day with Royce thinking I watched you die? I was destroyed, my whole world felt like it was gone! And then for him to tell me Logan and Ace joined you?”
Law drags me into his body once more, wrapping me in his scent as I cry into his chest. “I’m sorry baby girl, you're right. I’m sorry.”
“I love Ace and Logan, they are everything to me.” I start, keeping my face tucked into his body. “But Law, do you know who I felt safe with the very second they appeared under that willow tree? You. You are the one who I knew I could trust right away. You’ve always been the steady force between the four of us, the one who I know that no matter what will always be the person I can rely on.”
Tears start to stream down his face and I press to my tiptoes, gently sweeping my lips over his. “We can keep each other safe in this family, it's not your job to shoulder that alone.”
Our kiss tastes like salt, the tears we both shed intermixing as we kiss and hold onto each other. It's not heated or lust filled, it's healing and claiming in a way that both of us need. As though it's his way of letting out the apology that I refuse to take and my way of reminding him I love him.
“Are we interrupting?” Logan’s teasing voice comes through the barn doors.
Breaking off the kiss I peek around Law’s body and let out a gasp. “What is that?!”
Logan laughs as Law turns to look. Behind Lo is Ace and Ghost, a giant evergreen tree held between them. “It’s a christmas tree! Duh!”
“Princess here wanted to deck the halls and all that bullshit,” Ace says but the grumpy tone he has can’t cover for the twitch in his cheeks.
Ghost groans. “Dude. I have no interest in hearing your pet name for Logan.”
I cover the giggle spilling from my mouth with a gloved hand. Ever since the rescue I’ve noticed Ghost has hung around more. Part of me thinks it has something to do with the very fiery bestfriend of mine who has barely left my side since I was retrieved. But after hearing about the support the club gave Law in his recovery I’m happy to have him around. Even if the tension is thicker than mud between Athena and him.
Turns out Reed and Tarin both had been a part of the MC long ago, a charter that had been driven out of Cedar Edge briefly before Ace, Law and Logan managed to violently persuade the MC that drove them out to leave. And while Reed and Tarin had no interest in rejoining the current charter, they felt they owed a debt to the OG members. Protecting Law was a way to repay.
Logan scoops me up, my legs coming around his center as he plants a long kiss on me. “Fuck I missed you Tink.”
Another giggle escapes me. “You haven't been gone that long.”
“Every second away is too long.” Logan says, a darkness moving through his eyes. Of the three of them Logan has played it close to his chest on how my kidnapping impacted him. Ace has made it very well known that he puts partial blame on The Fallen and has been working in conjunction with Axel and Ghost to bring down their operation. Law has avoided me, until now, but Logan has been a mystery. Clinging to me day in and day out to the point that I baited him into tattooing me just to get him back to work.
He shifts us around, carrying us over the pasture. From behind I watch as Ace and Ghost drag the tree in our direction with Law laughing and shaking his head. “You know I wasn’t done with the horses yet.”
