Page 29 of Cedar Edge
The first ray of sun breaks over the mountain crest just as I pull into our long driveway. Not wanting to alert anyone, I cut the engine at the end before slowly pushing the heavy piece of machinery towards the back barn, pointedly ignoring the dirt path jutting off to the right. The woods around me are silent, save for a few birds chirping, not even a breeze moves through the tall evergreens to stifle the humidity that is already building. Summers in Washington used to be pleasant, long long ago. But now it seems that if it’s not the smoke from fires trying to suffocate you it’s the fucking humidity.
If I had been smart I would have texted Law to pick me up. Instead, I had parked my ‘work’ truck in its usual spot and swapped it for my bike. My ritual is the same each time despite switching between the ‘work’ vehicle I use. This time I had driven the old cargo van with a false bottom that was refrigerated. Thank fuck for that. Because if it wasn’t ice cold the rotting corpse wouldactuallystart to rot in this weather.
Sweat starts to bead up under my thick leather jacket and by the time I’m finally at my destination my back is soaked. Our property is huge, spanning for multiple acres with two barns, a pasture and the gardens. This particular barn is the older of the two, and is considered my workshop. On the outside it looks like any other run down property, the old wood dilapidated and crumbling in spots. Even upon inspection inside one would think it was basically condemned. Unless you know exactly what you’re looking for, which rusted sickleto pull that opens up my true work space.
Rolling the bike behind the barn, I make sure to keep it out of sight of anyone in the house who may be awake. Given the early morning hour I doubt Logan is up but Law… he’s the real risk. And Thea? Well I don’t know her well enough anymore to be willing to take the risk of her being the first one to see me. Our reunion needs to be on my terms, not hers.
I place my helmet on the seat as I pull my backpack and jacket off before peeling my soaked shirt off my body. In the distance I can hear the rumble of thunder, an early storm rolling in that will be sure to up the humidity in a ridiculous way.
“Fuck.” I grumble running my hand through my hair. I need a shower and a place to think. Being back here normally calms my nerves but I can’t lose myself in Logan or Law right now, not without having to confront Thea and that isn’t something I can do right now. So instead of heading towards the big house I take the path towards the barn to check on the animals.
Thea
I had woken stupidly early after a nightmare had chased me from sleep. The sweat had drenched through my pajamas and onto the sheets making it impossible to go back to sleep. Which is how I found myself up and showered for the day with nothing to occupy my time. It was still too early for Logan to be awake and Law had been wrapped around him when I peeked at them. They had looked too peaceful to bother.
Ever since our ride last week Law and I have been taking Biscuit out almost daily. The routine is the same, the two of them rounding the house to find me on the porch and the three of us meandering past the mystery garden in the distance. None of us have spoken about the fact that Ace has yet to show his face, it's as if we don’t want to pop this bubble. Or maybe it’s my own fucked up brain projecting my anxiety onto them.
After our ride last night Law laid me down on the couch to nap, which turned into making out like we were in high school until Logan had come in and the three of us got lost in one another while darkness crept into the world. It had been lovely,despite how sore my body was now. Between riding andridingmy hips and thighs were screaming.
“Slut. Such a slut.”
Royce's words try to weasel into my mind.
Nibbling on my bottom lip I snag the last of my ice tea, draining the cup, as I gaze around the property. Boredom was not good for me, I needed something to occupy my brain to avoid spiraling. To avoid hallucinating his voice. Exploring seems better than staying here waiting for someone to wake up. Law had mentioned horses and pigs so there must be a barn somewhere.
Slipping on the boots he had brought for me I head off the porch and around the side of the house where Law had appeared with Biscuit. I’m greeted with a large expanse of pasture, two barns seem to occupy the property and a dirt path seems to lead out of view. The barn that's closet seems newer, with large bales of hay sitting out front and the doors flung open allowing the August air to blow through. The one further out looks more like storage, the doors shut tight and an old truck sitting out in front of it. I opt to explore the newer one. Maybe I’ll get lucky and stumble on a good hideaway spot. I miss my tree, the safety it provided and the calming feel of the bark.
The sun beats down on my body already as I cross the open field. My eyes scan the property and mark the various plants I see. In the distance, towards the mystery garden, I can see stalks of sunflowers sprouting upwards. Dandelions decorate the grassy spaces throughout the open spaces, the yellows and greens all blending together.
Stepping into the shade of the barn I’m greeted with the smell of horse immediately. Glancing around I spy one of the great animals watching me over her stall, her dark eyes stand out against her palomino coat. She regards me carefully, ears flicking backwards and forwards. I offer her a soft smile, carefulnot to get to close as I edge further into the structure. She huffs out some air, hoof pawing the ground.
“Hello beautiful,” I coo. I glance around looking for something to bribe her with, an apple, a treat, anything but hay. “These boys really don’t have any treats for you do they?” As if she can understand me she flicks her head up and down.
I let out a giggle at the movement before putting my hands on my hips and spying the brush of the side. “What about a good brush down instead?” She doesn’t seem to protest when I snag the brush and step towards her stall door. Cautiously I ease it open, knowing full well this horse is a stranger and could easily decide she dislikes me. She shifts her massive body back from me, her body a bit more tense now that I’m sharing her space, and she is now as far from me as she can get.
“Alright girl, it’s okay. We can take it nice and slow. I get it.” Instead of moving to brush her I press my body against the door I just came through and let out a long sigh. Glancing around her stall seems generally clean, but small for a horse of her size. “The boys should really upgrade you, you deserve the penthouse.”
She neighs, pawing the ground as her head moves up and down. “I’ll take that as you agree,” I giggle. Slowly the horse starts to relax, the muscle tension I saw before drifting away until she, overall, seems okay with my presence. She still keeps herself at the farthest end of the stall, away from me, but I’ll take it as a win. I hold up the brush, “would you like me to brush you?”
She regards me for a long time, so long that I worry I made the wrong choice. But just as I’m about to back out of the stall she bows her head down and moves towards me. Holding still, she bumps me with her nose, as she sniffs my body. Tentatively I bring the brush upward and begin the slow strokes, not wanting to startle her or overstep. But she doesn’t move away, she stands perfectly still for me, allowing me to work around herwhole body. It’s the calmest I’ve been since… fuck I don’t know when I felt this last. My body feels free of the chains of fear for the first time in so long and when I breathe in it feels like the first full breath since my mom died.
I’m not sure how long I brush her but I do know that the air gets more humid, and the light changes enough that I know I should get back before I worry Law or Logan. I can hear the low rumble of thunder in the distance and the hair on my arms stands on edge.
“Storms coming,” I say quietly, placing the brush on the ledge behind me. “Thank you for letting me be here. Are you okay if I come back tomorrow?” I interpret the bump of her nose to my shoulder as a yes and go to ease out of the stall only for her to suddenly change, ears flattening and anger coursing through her.
“Cricket, back out slowly.” My whole body goes on alert, eyes closing as that voice sinks into my very core. “Cricket… now….” Ace’s voice is filled with danger and when I open my eyes I see it has a distinct affect on the horse in front of me.
“What are you doing here?” I hiss. I keep my eyes on the agitated animal in front me.
“Saving you, clearly.” He grinds out.
“I don’t need you to save me.” I scoff. “I was fine,shewas fine. At least until you walked in here. Now go away.”
“Katana isn’t fine with anyone. Not even Logan. She tolerates him at best. You're lucky she hasn’t bitten you yet, or tried to murder you.”
A frown pulls at my mouth, “Katana is it?” I offer up softly. “What a good name for you.” The horse flicks her attention between me and Ace, landing on me and stepping back again. My hand grips the stall door and as I open it Ace grabs me by my arm, yanking me from the stall as Katana rears up.
“See!” He shouts pointing at the horse. “You can’t just wander into someone’s fucking barn and go into see an unknown horse.”
