Page 19 of Cedar Edge
Ten from the bottom of the stairs to the kitchen.
Five from the kitchen to the front door.
My brain counts and plans, focusing on the numbers to ease the anxiety my body can’t seem to release as I make my way towards freedom. The tension radiates through every pore of my body as I clear the stairs, pausing to listen before racing on tip toes into the kitchen….
“I knew the man recognized me, or maybe he didn’t and it was my mind playing tricks on me but either way…”
Law leans forward on his arms, he looks dangerous right now. “We need a name Thea.”
“I can tell you that Rodger turned me over to him.” I say. “But I can’t let you risk getting hurt because of me.” Through the whole story I kept the name back, protecting them against the monster in the night. Even if no one could protect me I would protect them.
Law lets out a feral growl that shocks me. “We should have killed him slower.”
Logan nods in agreement before he continues. “Tink. No one can fucking touch us. We don’t need your protection.”
“He already was able to fuck with our phones, he knows this is the first place I would come. I can’t linger here any longer and risk your safety.” I say again.
“I’m sorry, say again?” Law looks furious, I can almost see the flames of rage crackling in his eyes.
“He knew I’d come here, he sent me a text–” Law is up and out of the chair before I can finish the sentence. Logan saying something about it being off and in some ‘box’. When he comes back he has my phone in hand. He looks disgusted, reading through the messages Royce has sent. Moments later he hurls the device across the room, the phone splintering into a million pieces as it makes contact with the wall. I can't help the squeak that comes free of my lips.
Law turns towards me, kneeling down until he’s eye level, both hands resting on Logan’s legs so he can cage me in. “No one is going to hurt you. You belong to us. And no one can touch what is ours.”
Safety has been a commodity that I haven’t been able to afford in far too long. I break free of Logan’s hold pushing away from the two of them, pacing across the floor. As if the wordspouring from his mouth have unlocked all of the emotions I've kept deep within my body.
“How could you believe that I would just cut you all off?” I ask through blurred vision. I pace back and forth. Like a caged animal at the zoo I can’t stop the movement even as the tears pour from my eyes.
Logan lets out a sigh. “Thea, you said you were with someone else. You asked us to respect that.”
I let out a hurt and frustrated cry. “And you just took that?! That I would throw away years of friendship for some random guy?!”
Law lets out another low growl, cutting him off. “We fucked up. And I’m sorry. We never should have stayed away.” His words are filled with raw regret.
“You’re ours Tink,” Logan adds in.
“Shut up.” I say quietly. “Stop talking.” I don't want to hear the words coming from his mouth. Because if I hear them, if I believe them, I don't think I will leave. Which means I will bring Royce down on the people I love.
“And I will… come down on that town. I’ll kill them all to get to you my little doll.”
But he doesn’t stop. “We should have chased you harder, we fucked up Thea. We know that.”
“I SAID SHUT UP!” The scream bellows from the very depth of my soul and unlocks a torrent of emotion as I just scream. The sound is a banshee wail. It claws its way up and out of my sternum, into my throat and pours from my mouth like liquid fire. It’s the sound of someone who's been silenced, and ignored, for far too long. I don’t even realize I’m on the ground, holding my head, until warm hands drag my own away from my hair.
“Eyes on me baby girl.” Law's voice is a beckon over the maelstrom of my mind. His command awakening something that seemed to soothe the rage and grief that had been bubblingwithin. I blink through the tears, following the instructions which earns me a smile. “Good girl.”
Next to him, Logan joins us, dragging me into his body and away from Law who looks reluctant to release me. “When Ace gets home we’ll figure this all out” Lo says, uncharacteristically serious.
“I can’t stay here.” I try again to convince him of the dangers. Or maybe I'm trying to convince myself that I can't stay here. Either way the word sounds weak.
Logan shakes his head. “I promise you, whoever this person is can’t fucking touch us or you. I need you to trust me.” I blink through the tears as they slowly stop falling. Holding his gaze the whole time.
“We need a name.” Law says again.
My eyes close for a moment as I weigh the pros and cons of telling them his name. Part of me fears if I say it allowed I’ll summon him into this safe space I’ve found myself sheltered in. And yet… keeping his name to myself feels like I’m also keeping him alive in me.
“Royce Ripkins III.” I finally say. The moment the name leaves me my whole body relaxes, as though a weight has been lifted from my chest.
From behind me a noise sounds from Law but Lo shuts it up with a hard glare. “Good girl Thea. Thank you.” Logan says to me.
