Page 15 of Cedar Edge
“She was withdrawing. That's why she had the seizure.” He says the words while still looking out the window.
“She was high as a kite when I found her on the road, so that makes sense I guess.” I respond, arms crossed over my chest. I know my father well, know all his tells and right now he’s holding back. “What aren’t you telling me?”
He lets out a long, defeated sigh. “They were the same drugs that Marie had in her system.”
The world goes blank for a moment as the words register in my mind. I can’t bring myself to respond to my father, the two of us holding onto our own guilt and processing the magnitude of the fuck up that has occurred. The only sound, the ticking of the clock above the front door. An ominous one that seems to build and build and build.
“Is she going to be okay?” I manage to ask. My voice shakes. He looks towards me finally, a haunted expression painted across his face. “I’ve seen a lot of terrible things in my life son but that girl… I’m shocked she’s alive. He’ll want her back. Whoever she’s been with, he’ll want her back. The only type of man who brands someone is the kind that looks at them as property.”
The words don’t seem to register in my mind. “Say again?”
He shakes his head, setting the bottle down and dragging his hand down his face. “She’ll survive the drugs, she’s stable now.” He stumbles over his words before he catches the look on my face. “But emotionally, she’s got a long road ahead of her.”
Everything goes quiet in my mind. A dark calm washes over me as I process the words flowing from his mouth. It’s the kind of calm that has me two steps ahead of the world around me. It’s like playing chess and already knowing not only the moves you’ll make before your opponent steps up to the board but how you’ll win. For all my chaos that results in destruction this place, this dark, calm, collective place, is far more deadly.
“Logan?” My father grips my shoulder dragging me from the solace of planning. He frowns, his eyes, a dark muddy brown compared to my hazel, full of suspicion and concern. “Do not do something stupid.”
No words come from my mouth to placate his statement. Only silence building and building and building before he finally huffs out a defeated sigh and a shake of his head. My father is where this place comes from, he knows how my mind works because it’s so similar to his. Aside from the ADHD that enjoys living in my brain, we are a carbon copy of one another when someone we love is threatened or hurt.
“I need to get home, I’ll come back tomorrow if the weather permits and check on everything again.” Dragging me in for a hug he squeezes tight before I’m returning it. My father has never been one to avoid affection and I adore him for that. He had no issue pulling up on his Harley and dragging me in for a hug in front of anyone. He also knocked a townie's teeth out when they made a homophobic remark about my relationships. From the moment I was born I knew my father loved me and I’ll be forever grateful for that.
When he finally releases me I walk him to the door, opening up to the deluge of rain still coming down. “You going to make it back okay?” Guilt assaults me at the risk he even took getting up the small mountain road to our place.
“Boy, who taught you how to drive on these roads?” He grumbles with an arched eyebrow.
“Yeah, yeah but you weren’t the old man you are now.” I bump him with my shoulder in a gesture which earns me a huffed laugh.
“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.” He clasps me on the back before stepping off and rushing to his truck. I watch as he backs out of our drive and don’t go back in until I see his tail lights disappear.
Chapter Seven
“Are not men themselves mere poison by nature?”
-Pliny,Natural Histories-
Thea
I wake to sunlight streaming through the window, the warmth cascading down my body in a pleasant sensation. The dream I’m gently being pulled from has left me tingling and oddly relaxed. I let out a long breath. The storm seems to have long cleared leaving behind the August sunshine. Birds chirp excitedly outside the window that’s flung open allowing the warm, fresh air to flow in.
My arms lift up to stretch, my body feeling so much better, but the progress is halted when an IV tugs on me. Frowning I look at the needle taped in my arm and follow the line all the way up to the bag hanging above me. In a panic my fingers are already ripping the IV free, my mind spinning as I attempt to figure out when the fuck this happened.
“Oh thank Christ.” Logan’s relieved voice comes from the doorway, his hand cradling a cup of coffee as he rushes towardsme. “You are never allowed to do that again Tink, do you hear me?”
“Uh… what happened?” I ask as I watch him discard the coffee cup on the dresser before he’s scooping me up in a hug. I awkwardly attempt to return the gesture only to realize the IV is making it damn near impossible.
He doesn’t move for a long minute, his arms banded around me as if he’s afraid I’ll disappear and that's when it clicks.
He knows.
He’s seen it.
He’s seen all of me.
I feel myself shrink back from him, feel the shame of it all bubbling upward until it’s threatening to drown me. I don’t want to look into his eyes to see the pity there, or worse… the confirmation that he won’t want me any longer, that I’m broken and unlovable because of what I allowed to happen.
“Don’t do that, Thea.” He says with a dark, rough, tone. “Don’t you dare be ashamed of anything you’ve gone through.” His warm hand cups my face, drawing my gaze up to his own.
“What happened?” They are the only words that seem to break free of my mind.
