Page 13 of Cedar Edge
“Oh fuck, yeah sorry!” I say, despite not being sorry at all. Moving slower than I should, I head towards the room across the way, the one door that has remained shut since we moved in without her. A pang of longing hits me in the heart for a moment, but I force it aside as I grab the oversized Haven Edge Tattoo Shop t-shirt and a pair of soft shorts. At one time they would have fit her perfectly but now she’ll be swimming in them no doubt.
Thea takes them, disappearing back into the room allowing me to try and get my lust under control. When she emerges once more I realize I don’t know what I loved more, her in the towel or her with my tattoo shop’s name plastered across her chest. The long shirt brushes just above her knees. “Damn, Tink you look good with my shop on you.”
Her eyes glitter with something akin to pride. “I’m really happy for you Lo. You always wanted your own shop.”
I step closer to her, drawn in as though I’m a moth to a flame. Her milky skin is untouched from ink and piercings. A fresh canvas. I itch with the need to mark her, to ruin her in the best way. To make sure no one ever fucking mistakes this girl for anything other thanours. My thumb traces over her exposed collar bone before it trails down her arm. “You gonna let me ink you Tink?”
Chapter Six
Hemlock Water Dropwort: “The stem and roots contain large amounts of oenanthotoxin, which can cause convulsions, seizures, kidney failure and eventually respiratory and cardiac distress. It can also lead to paralysis of the voice box, resulting in long-term muteness.”
-Fez Inkwright,Botanical Curses and Poisons: The Shadow Lives of Plants-
Thea
The heat in Logan’s eyes is hard to miss and it sends swirls through my stomach. When was the last time someone looked at me like that? Has anyone ever looked at me like that? Royce certainly never did. With lust sure but a dangerous type of lust, one that was filled with toxic possession.
He wanted to break me with his ownership.
Logan looks like he wants to worship me.
“You gonna let me ink you Tink?” Logan’s voice cuts through the haze and dumps ice into my veins. I’m shaking my head before the thought can fully process, my immediate reaction utter fear as the smell of burned flesh appears like a fuckingghost haunting me. Suddenly I’m not standing in Logan’s home but I’m back in that penthouse, Royce’s Tequila scented breath suffocating me as he ruined me from having a life outside of him.
“Your body. Your mind. Your skin. It’s all mine and no one will ever question that.”
The memories consume me, my hand gripping the ruined flesh on my side as if it just happened. The pain feels visceral and so fucking real. My body feels electrified and I can’t seem to figure out what’s real and what’s a figment of my imagination. Harsh panting comes from all around me and I think someone must be in terrible pain only to realize the sounds are coming from my own mouth.
“Tink?” Logan steps towards me.
I shake my head in panic. “Don’t!” I snap. His eyes flash with pain before they move to anger which is the worst thing he could do. I crumple to the ground, hands over my head as I rock back and forth. “Please. Please.” I say over and over again. The word a prayer to a god that stopped listening long ago.
“Take a deep breath for me Tink.” His voice is calm and steady, his presence closer but not crowding. “I’m right here. You’re safe. You feel the wood under your legs? That is the wood Law cut down from outside to make the floors. Focus on that. Focus on the feel of it, the smell of it, let it remind you are safe. You’re home.”
“No!” I scream and scream, unsure who or what I’m saying no to before I dissolve back into sobs. Reality and history flash back and forth, a confusing overlay within my eyes, his voice repeating the mantra that I’m safe over and over again as I try to claw my way back to the present. To him.
“That’s it.” He coos as my rapid breathing seems to calm itself. The flashback slowly fades into the distance as my reality takes up space in my mind once more. The smell of my burnt flesh mixed with tequila fades as I note the scent of cedarand smoke with a hint of witch-hazel. Embarrassment pulses through my body and a sob breaks loose from me. That seems to crack the resolve Logan has to remain at arms length and he drags me into his body. Once again allowing me to break apart against his chest.
“I’m sorry.” I sob out. “I didn’t…”
He cuts me off, bracing my cheeks with his hands as he forces me to look into his green eyes. “Never. Fucking. Apologize.” He growls. “You don’t do that, not here. Not with me. You fall apart and I’ll help you get back together every time Tink.” He presses a kiss to my forehead before allowing me to nestle back against his chest.
“Why? Why now? None of you showed up before, after what I did, so why are you helping me now?” The question comes tumbling out before I can overthink it.
Silence builds between us, it’s so long I start to open my mouth to apologize again but I’m cut off before the words can tumble free. “What are you talking about Thea?”
This has me pulling back, confusion overriding the aftershock of the panic attack. “I texted you all, so many times Logan. None of you said a god damn word even when I…” I hiccup a sob out, fresh tears rolling down my cheeks. “Even when I begged for help. I know I fucked up with Ace, crossed a line that wasn’t okay, I never should have but I just thought… I thought all our friendships were stronger than that.”
A flash of annoyance moves over Logan’s face for a moment and I flinch backwards. “Thea, you texted us and told us to leave you alone.”
“What? No I didn’t.” Confusion swirls through me.
Logan nods his head, “Yes you did. You said you were dating someone and you needed space.”
“I never sent a text saying I was seeing anyone.” I start and stop. “I sent a lot of other texts but never that one.”
Logan shakes his head. “We only got the text that you wanted space and were seeing someone else… fuck Thea it killed us.”
And that's when reality hits me. “Oh my god.” I gasp out, hand flying to my mouth. “He… he did this. He cut me off from you three. Oh my god.” In my mind I can hear his wicked laugh like he’s right next to me.
