Page 16 of Heavy is the Crown
Even if it demands the steepest price yet.
My portal opens into our penthouse. Ciaran looks over at me from where he lounges on our gray couch off to the side. I barely stop to tell him to go check on Ava as I race to my room. I slam my door, the motion making me feel like a teenager pissed at his parents. My movements are jerky as I’m assaulted by emotions and thoughts that I would rather avoid, my hands shaking as I grab the Eufori off my nightstand.
The anxiety is a living beast, devouring me from the inside out. The thought of keeping Ava in my life is just as distressing as not. Both thoughts are parasites, chewing away at the little sanity I hold. My throat feels too tight to breathe properly, as ifthe anxiety is trying to suffocate me. A slow, painful death. One that I will get to relive over and over again because I’ll never be free of Ava and therefore never free of this anxiety.
The Eufori finally lights and the crimson smoke worms its way into the quicksand taking up residence in my chest. The relief is almost instant, the darkness locked back behind a cloudy piece of glass only one crack away from allowing me to sink into the depth of that agony. But not today. Today, the glass holds and keeps the quicksand locked away. Just another predator waiting to be unleashed when I’m least expecting it.
“What is going on?” Ciaran pushes through the door, ignoring that I had closed it. His tone makes it worse—worry. I don’t deserve his worry or the empathy currently plastered across his face. I deserve to suffer, particularly after what I just did to my mate.But you won’t even allow yourself to feel, you just escape into the drug. If you truly wished to suffer, you would stay sober. You would feel all those things.“Shadow?”
Ciaran pulls me from the spiral. Pulls me from where those dark thoughts will go next. A reminder of how lovely it feels to bleed.
Taking a deep inhale, I finally speak my shame: “I fucked up.”
Ava
It's been a week since Shadow fled from me, denying our bond, and I feel like crawling out of my skin. Everything in me is begging to be in his arms again, but I can’t leave this cell. He is my obsession, an addiction, and when I don’t get a hit of my drug, I feel like I’m going to lose it. Until last week, he had become a constant in my life since the day he killed that guard.I never asked what happened to the vampire, but since that day, no one has dared come near me. I see vampires pass me by, disdain clear on their faces, but no one enters my cell.
Shadow.The man who has taken over my body and soul. The man who owns me completely but won’t finish what he started. The claiming mark on my throat pulses with need to be finished, yet he won’t do it. I let out a long sigh as I lie on the shit mattress. He may have friends in high places, but I'm still stuck here. Still waiting to be freed.
It's the soft footsteps that pull my attention toward the doorway. It’s late in the evening, a generally calmer time in the prison as vampires head out into the city to get their kicks at the local nightclubs. So, hearing someone in my hallway causes me to frown. Sitting up, I press my back against the wall and watch my door. The key pushes into the old lock, and I see a blond head in the light as the door opens. A massive Viking-looking man moves in, and for a moment, my heart stutters in fear because he emanates power similar to my home. Those blue eyes of his widen just a fraction when he meets my silver ones.
“Ciaran,” he says by way of greeting. As if that name should mean something to me.
I raise my eyebrow at him. “Ava,” I respond. “Do you speak in full sentences, Viking?”
He chuckles darkly. Moving into the room, he shuts the door behind himself, leaving us with only the light from the sliver of moon that hangs just outside the window.
I kick my legs back out in front of me, an attempt to look at ease despite the continued discomfort that my body is in. Either from being in these conditions so long or being away from Shadow, it’s unknown. “What can I do for you?”
He assesses me, my already small frame even smaller now that the guards have decided I’m not worth feeding regularly, given they can’t seem to touch me. Shadow had been bringingme food, but given I haven’t seen him in a while, it means I haven’t eaten either.It’s not like you were even eating before that.Ciaran frowns. I can tell he doesn’t like what he sees. “Shadow sent me.”
Fear and anxiety lance through me, the mark on my neck practically burning. “What happened?! Is he okay? Where is he?” My questions come out lightning fast. I’m practically tripping over my tongue.
“He’s fine, but the wrong people were noticing him being around you too often.”
My stomach bottoms out. “And who would those people be?”
He crosses his massive arms across his chest, those eyes still searching over me. “My father, for one.”
Fuck.“Ah. So, you are Alexi’s son I’ve heard so much about.” My back stays propped up against the cool stone wall of my prison, but my hands fiddle nervously with the frayed edges of the moldy blanket.
Ciaran lets out a long sigh. “My father is a piece of shit. I try to avoid being like him at every turn, but alas, sometimes you have to be a villain.” His eyes shine bright for a moment, as if he truly regrets what he just said, but just as quickly, the emotion is gone. “You're almost free, Ava. Shadow just wants to make sure you’ll be safe when you leave, that's all.”
I feel my eyes narrow. “Anywhere is safer than here. Why couldn’t he come himself?”
Ciaran holds up his hands in surrender. “I’m not here to fight, just deliver the message. And you would be surprised what’s safe and what isn’t in Gothic Grove now.”
“So, he sent you? I feel like this is below you, Ciaran.” I try to laugh, but the thought of escape feels like a fever dream, and I don’t dare to hope it’ll work.
Ciaran shrugs. “Shadow is my brother. I would do anything for him. And you . . . I was curious about you.” He turns to headback to the door. “I’ll get you some more food but know that he’s working as hard as he can to free you. We both are.”
He’s out and gone before I can say anything. The oddity of the interaction begins settling in my chest. Ciaran Helvig radiated power, and not just vampire power. No, he smelled of witch and something akin to home.But if he was from Hell, he would have said something. Right?The question bounces around in my head. I wasn’t hidden from people, so most know who the royal family is, and the silver eyes I have areonlya mark of royalty.
I sit against the cool wall for what feels like eternity before finally lying down. The stupid wool blanket is still barely hanging onto life as I cover my body with it. Just as my eyes close, I hear the door open again.
“That wa—” The words turn to dust in my mouth as I see three large vampires enter the room. I can’t catch their movements fast enough, and suddenly, they are on me. Holding me down to the mattress as I thrash.
“Alexi wants Shadow to know he’llneverbe free of this place. Tell him this is his fault,” one breathes into my face. True fear lances through me as the third one, the one not holding me down, brandishes a knife. In a sweeping arc, he cuts open my stomach. A scream erupts from my mouth as I feel my warm blood spill out across my skin. The three laugh as I try desperately to press my hands to the giant wound, to stop the blood from pouring out. My vision goes in and out, their forms hazy as they move out of the room. I try to grab for my magic, a desperate attempt, but the blood is leaving too fast.
