Page 63 of Heavy is the Crown
She takes a deep breath. “She’s warning us.”
I frown. “Of what, Ava?”
She nervously plays with her shirt as she looks at the letter, refusing to meet our eyes.
“What aren’t you telling us?”
Drago moves in beside me, resting his hand on my low back as if to ground me here, as if he can see the nervous energy rippling through me.
Ava
My mates look at me with worry and an edge that tells me they won’t allow me to walk away from this without giving them something. It’s true, Kara showed Kallen the same vision I saw, but that future changed the moment I decided to call Jax. Or, at least, that’s my hope.
“It’s about Astrea . . .” I say and start to read that portion of the letter.
Astrea is not doing well with the magic, and Ciaran is less and less concerned about it. I saw the future, Ava, I know what happens. We are barreling toward it every moment. I know what The Order has planned. I’m bringing Ciaran and Astrea back to pack lands. I hate to admit that we need to stay as a group. Particularly if we are going to avoid what the future holds. Drago will know where my mate’s lands are; he is president of the Primal Knights MC.
Silence compresses the air around me before Drago’s voice breaks through. “And what exactly is this future you’ve been hiding from us?”
THIRTY-FIVE
My Mates,
I love you.
I want to say more, but it’s all falling apart as I sit here and try to push words out.
I know after today, you’ll probably hate me.
But as long as you are alive, I don’t give a shit.
– Ava
Ava
Drago and Shadow spring into action, readying us to go to the pack lands as soon as I share a small amount of the future I saw. Drago makes sure Kai will have control of the club while he is away. Shadow refuses to leave me alone, as if he can sense the plan that has formed in my head. Knows what is coming next, and that him being constantly near me will make it all the more difficult for me to carry it out. None of this has helped the ever-present anxiety that continues to encroach on my soul. It’s like astain you can’t get out of a white shirt. No matter how much I try to wash it away, it’s still there.
Before Kallen’s beast leaves, I send another letter with it, hoping she can pull off what I’m asking. I send a desperate text to Jax, asking for help distracting my mates, but his response is unsupportive. He says the best he can do is send a text to Drago to meet up, but he cannot leave Hell. He is hunting down the beasts of old. Elkers have begun to wake, creatures straight out of the nightmares of those of us who are from Hell. The Order has summoned them. I shiver at the thought, the screams I heard as a young child when my father banished them still a core memory.
It’s been two days since Jackson sent the text asking to meet up with both Shadow and Drago. Two days of chewing on my fingers and trying to disguise my anxiety and fear. I pace around my apartment, which they shut me in at Jax’s suggestion, having been convinced that it was safer to leave me in these wards while they are away.
Samhain watches with his dark eyes as I pace back and forth, the judgment thick in his black gaze. “It’s the only way,” I grumble. He puffs his feathers up before shaking his head.
My pacing halts as Drago and Shadow enter the room.
“We’ll be back soon,” Drago says, planting a soft kiss on me. I breathe in his scent, knowing it’s the last time I will. Tears prick at my eyes, but I shove them away, reminding myself I am doing this for them.It’s the only way, the only way to save them all.
Drago pulls away, and Shadow moves in next, his eyes seeing much more than I want them to. “You’ll stay here.” It’s a question and a command.
I don’t respond and instead plant a kiss on him, wrapping my arms around his solid body.
“I love you both,” I say into his shirt. I can’t look at them. I know Shadow will see through me if I do. So, when I pull away, I keep my face hidden in my hair and turn to flee down the hallway to my bedroom. When I’m in the doorway, I finally look back at them. The fake smile plastered on my face is one I used so often in Hell. “Come back soon so we can play!”
“We love you,” Drago says as he turns to leave.
But Shadow holds my gaze, a frown forming. I blink rapidly and wave to him before shutting myself in my bedroom.
I give myself a count of five before I let the sobs rip through my body and I break apart, sliding to the floor of my bedroom. The anxiety and guilt that's been eating away at me for months is finally breaking free as the end draws near. The sounds of my cries echo through the room as I curl in on myself, desperate to catch my breath. I allow it all to flow out of me as I send my magic outward, slowly taking down the wards I have kept up for so long. Bit by bit, the magic cracks and fades away until nothing is left of the safety I’ve held so dear since getting out of the prison.
