Page 37 of Heavy is the Crown
My patience is wearing thin at this point. I need out of this conversation. I need to escape reality for a while, and this is only keeping me pinned to it. So, I nod, the only confirmation I’m willing to give him.
“When Ava left, I was worried. How would she maintain her magic? She had no mates to feed from. And she hadn’t gone through a ceremony prior to leaving. But why would she need magic here? I convinced myself she would be safe. No one knew who she was in Gothic Grove. And despite my father assuring everyone things were fine, I was happy she was further from The Order once things started escalating with them.
“You can imagine my surprise when Drago called me. She was sinking in on herself, and he worried she wouldn’t survive.I don’t think she knew he had dealings with us from Hell, or I doubt she would have stayed with him. Because he knew who she was, who I was, immediately. I was so fucking relieved when he told me about you two. She would have a way to sustain her magic, and she could live her life happy. But seeing you? I think that feeling of relief was misplaced.”
He looks me up and down before continuing. “What do you hope to accomplish by leaving them?”
I don’t say anything for a long moment, taking in more Eufori instead. Letting it burn me inside. “If I leave, they’ll be free to mate. I’m holding them back, threatening her life, by staying and refusing to mate her.”
He shakes his head. “You truly think they’ll forget about you? Just mate and move on?”
“Eventually. Yes.” The lie feels like ash across my tongue. But I pull more Eufori in, begging the crimson drug to make me believe the lies I tell.
He shoots me a glare. “You have no idea what it’s like to lose your mate. Just because they are not with you does not mean you forget about them.” A depression settles over him as he watches me. “You are a coward.”
Coward. Fraud. Weak.The words bounce around in my head. My own negative self-talk, never-ending and exhausting.
The wind picks up more and the first few drops of rain begin to hit us. The transition from fall to winter in Gothic Grove is a push-pull of the two seasons. The transition to our attempted summer is even worse. Flash floods can push through the decaying streets at a moment's notice, and within the next hour, snow could be blanketing the very same streets.
The king of Hell and a broken dragon looking out over an equally broken city that’s drowning. It’s laughable, really—the two of us couldn’t be further apart aside from the burden we both seem to carry. The burden of watching those we love suffer.
“I met your father once. He came to what should have been my sister’s wedding. The very night she fled to this city.” His deep voice breaks apart the silence. “He was a piece of shit. We all knew it, even my father. And that's saying something. I believe he had hopes of marrying Drago off to Ava, or you.” He laughs. “Wouldn’t that have been ironic? If my father had taken that deal, he would have inadvertently placed mates together.” He chuckles to himself again before saying, “I always wondered what would make someone as powerful as you hide. Allow themselves to be taken by Alexi and used by him.”
I tense as memories assault my mind, the feel of blood dripping through my claws. The ecstasy of the kill as my dragon ripped people to shreds. I shudder at the memories and the feelings that come along with them. Because no matter how much I smoke, I will never forget how much Ilovedthe kill. It wasn’t until years into captivity that I started to realize what I had become. Started to hate it. My anger and guilt and fear had poisoned me to the point of no return.
“Even in Hell, we heard of you and your dragon. The deadliest beast, housed in a Realm Walker. Something that hadn’t been seen for decades.” He looks me over, those silver eyes penetrating my soul. “I think you knew what kind of evil your father was, knew what he would do if he got ahold of your dragon. So, you suffered. Even allowed yourself to be sold off like cattle.” I ball my fists, not saying a word, though my mind screams for him to shut up. “But you didn’t account for Alexi’s brand of evil, did you? Didn’t account for the bloodlust he would awaken.”
I don’t react. Don’t allow him to see just how much I liked it. He flicks a cigarette out, lighting it and taking a deep drag before continuing. “We also heard when Ciaran took you out of his father’s service, but still, you stayed close to the vampire. I assumed you were staying close to Ciaran, but now, I think it wassomething else. I think you stayed with Ciaran, stayed in that place, because of Ava.”
I remain silent, neither confirming nor denying what he said. It feels like the silence stretches on forever.
“You protected many people from your father, but he’s long dead. Alexi is dead. And there isn’t any shame in enjoying the hunt or the kill. That rage you feel deep down will protect your mates. My sister needs you. And I think you need her.”
“And how would you feel knowing your sister is with someone who killed his own mother? That I couldn’t control the shift and ripped her to shreds in the blink of an eye?” My hands are shaking again, and I let the claws of my dragon out to dig into my palms. Grounding myself with the pain. “I’m a fucking danger to everyone around me. Ihurtor even kill the people I love.”
His head tilts to the side. “Who do you think asked me to talk to you? I’m certainly not up here out of my own good nature.” He lets out a dark chuckle. The sound mocks me. “I couldn’t care less about you; if you overdose or accidentally cut too deep, nothing changes for me. Ava would be upset, but since you aren't mated, it wouldn’t kill her. However, I do care about the souls, and when one makes a request of me, I do my best to follow through with it.”
I ignore how the idea of slipping away from this world feels too tempting and focus on the other part of what he said. “My mother spoke to you. How?” My voice barely whispers over the wind now whirling around us.
He shrugs. “I’m the king of Hell, I know how to find souls. Moreover, souls know how to findme.” I move to open my mouth, to ask how she is, to get any piece of information I can glean about her, but he holds his hand up to stop me, letting out a long sigh as thunder rumbles in the distance. “I can’t answer the questions you have about her. I’ll leave you with a pieceof advice, Shadow: don't make the same mistake I did. Don’t let something so good walk away, because once it's gone, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
Before I can blink, he’s gone, leaving that final statement hanging in the dense air around me. The rain finally dumps down from the sky, and the feel of it makes my skin pull and itch. I drop the joint to the wet concrete and watch the embers snuff out. I want to be angry at him, but his words have sunk their claws in, and now I can’t shake them loose. No matter how much I rip and tear at them, they sink further in until I start to feel the truth of them all. My dragon huffs, and I feel the fight leave me. I’m too tired to push him back, so I give in and allow him to burst forth, stretching those wings wide. A roar barrels from my throat, fighting the thunder for dominance, before I take off into the stormy night.
TWENTY
Power will shift. The Mori family thinks they’ll keep it.
They won’t.
– Fairmore Family Grimoire
Drago
(“The One That Got Away” – The Civil Wars)
My body is pulled in two different directions. My dragon, worried for Shadow, pushes to go find him, sensing his shift. The other part of me knows I cannot leave Ava right now. My family is falling apart, and deep inside, I fear I’m not enough to hold them together.
“How long did you know I was from Hell, Drago?” She spits my name out like a curse.
