Page 83 of Wanting More
With chilling calmness, his eyes swept over Sapphire's pale face as she sat up on the couch to Joel, who stood up slowly. It took all his will to make the words come out even and not in a thunderous roar of anger. "Was it intentional to wait until I left? Was that your plan all along?"
"No, of course not, Hayden. It...it just happened…" Sapphire's words trailed off into nothing as if she just heard herself how cliché they sounded. The deep remorse in her eyes did nothing for the catastrophic fury roaring inside of him as she bowed her head to look away.
Joel moved to stand in front of her, blocking his view, and Hayden snapped his gaze back to him. "Don't apologize," Joel told her over his shoulder, never taking his eyes off him. And for a moment, both of them stood like that, Hayden's fury crackling against Joel's frustration before Joel let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. "It wasn't her fault," he exclaimed heavily. "I saw my chance, and goddammit, I took it. I was fucking dying dancing around the elephant in the room," Joel explained as if hereallywanted him to understand.
The fucking balls of the man!
Hayden clenched his fists. "Like I fucking wasn’t?!"
Standing up from the couch, Sapphire stepped around Joel and held up a hand to each of them. "Wait. Please. I don’t want you two to fight," she begged. "Please...that's never what I wanted."
A bitter retort hung at his lips. He wanted to make those beautiful eyes round with shock. He wanted to see her hurt and hope it was on the same level as his. Hayden forced himself to take a breath instead.
With one last warning look at Joel, Hayden pinned her with a stare that brooked no arguments. "Come on. I'm taking you home." He shot a look to Joel. "You," he said, pausing as he grabbed the bag on the desk and tossed it toward him. Joel snatched it from the air with one hand before it hit him. "Can fix the goddamn door hinge to the lady's room. I'll be back."
Gesturing to the door, Hayden watched Sapphire cast Joel one more look over her shoulder, fearful confusion mixed with resignation, before stepping out into the hall. Hayden's gut clenched at that, fueling his anger. Resisting the urge to snatch her hand and forcibly pull her down the hall, he walked past her to the back door and out into the back where he parked his bike.
He got on first and waited for her gentle grasp on his shoulder as she swung her leg over the bike. He was on edge and looking for a fight. Would she be hesitant to hold onto him properly? A sick part of him wished she was, so he could grab her wrist and pull her forward just to incite the argument he desperately wanted to have. To vent his raw anger over her betrayal.
But her arms came around him, settling around his middle tight and sure. Pressing her soft front to his broad back and he let out a ragged sigh. No, he didn't want her hesitancy, he admitted in relief. He just wanted to voice the feelings inside.
Starting the bike with a kick, he pulled out of the open gate and onto the road taking note of how her body melded into his.
The ride was short. Too short. He toyed with the idea of just taking the highway past the exit for the old main street and past the old motel. The feel of the wind against his face and her body clinging to his was the therapy he sorely needed right now. The idea of taking her away and…
The startling thought brought him up short, and he took the turn for Old Main Street. What would he do with her if he ran off with her? Stop somewhere and force her to look at just him, consider just him? Touch and kiss her how he wanted, erase Joel's touch from her mind? Have her prove that she had not forgotten about him?
Hayden pulled the bike to a slow stop in front of the café. The streetlight across the street cast a gloomy yellowish glow over them, giving the dark windows of the closed café a forbidding look.
Bracing the bike, he felt her get off from behind him. As much as he wanted to follow her inside, Hayden didn't trust himself. He was still itching for a fight, and he knew by the worried look on her face she was afraid of just that.
"Go inside," he grumbled tersely, lifting his foot to the pedal once more.
The cool feeling of her hands cupping his face stopped him. Closing his eyes, Hayden made a noise deep in his throat as he turned his face into her hand. Opening his eyes, he caught her desperate look.
"Please," she said, her lips parting softly, and he wondered how they tasted. "Don't leave like this. Please just talk to me," she begged.
A night breeze ruffled his hair, and he gave her a searching look. "What is there to talk about?"
Sapphire dropped her hand. Shifting her weight on her feet, she looked at him with that spark of defiance. "Hayden don't. Don't do that." And though her words were pleading, there was an impatient snap to them that made him long to grab her and pull her close.
"Do what?" He provoked, shifting the bike beneath him with his own impatience. "Walk in and watch you give yourself to Joel and somehow not be fucking furious about it?" he snapped.
Hayden could see the confusion and guilt intermingling on her face drawing her brows together in a frown. "But I thought…I thought that is what we have been…I mean, I thought we were all…"
"Yes, Sapphire,webeing the keyword. That," he said, pointing back in the direction of the bar, "was no goddamnwe. That was you and Joel minutes away from fucking while I was left out in the goddamn cold."Again, was what he wanted to add but thankfully stopped himself.
"No," Sapphire shook her head, stepping closer to him. She grabbed his hand in hers. "I didn't forget about you. I could never." And for a moment, Hayden felt himself sink into the unmistakable longing in her eyes.
It sure as hell didn't look like she was remembering you with her legs wrapped around Joel's waist. The spiteful voice whispered to him. He remembered her little sounds of pleasure. He saw Joel's hand beneath her shirt. He could…
Sapphire pulled at his balled fist in her hands, tugging him toward her, and Hayden felt her reach one cool hand against his cheek, and the angry words of doubt hushed immediately.
He watched her blink and look away, her eyes glistening. Hayden waited with held breath, unsure what she was thinking as she seemed to gather herself and look back at him, the moisture in her eyes unmistakable.
"I need you. You can't walk away angry. I lo-" she cut her words off midway, and Hayden felt his heart stutter in pain.
"Say it."Please. The word was unsaid, but they both knew it was there in his rasping tone.
