Page 60 of Needing More
Hayden reached for her left hand and held her as she cried even deeper into Joel's shoulder.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt both of you," she sobbed.
Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Vic shift toward the bedroom door as if preparing to leave.
"I'm not sorry that I love him," she added, relieved to see Vic pause and look at her. Even from where he stood in the shadows, she could see that same spark of need shining in his eyes as it always did when he looked at her. Turning back to Joel and Hayden, she gave them a sorrowful look. "I'm just sorry I hurt you in doing so."
"To be clear you didn't hurt me," Joel pointed out. "I was expecting this and to be honest kind of pushing for it at times."
Sapphire stared back at him with shocked confusion.
"I just wanted to make sure Vic was serious about you," Joel remarked breezily.
"Okay, I'm kind of sick of the narrative that I'm some sort of bastard when it comes to relationships," Vic interrupted sourly from the shadows.
Both Joel and Hayden ignored him.
"So where do we go from here?" Sapphire looked desperately at Hayden. "Earlier you were so mad. You looked…disgusted by me even."
Hayden closed his eyes in regret and shook his head. "No, I…I was just angry and shocked. It felt as if my worst fear was coming to life. I just knew any second you were going to admit you were leaving me or something."
Despite the subtle echoes of pain in the back of her head warning her to take it easy she grabbed Hayden's arm and pulled. Following her command, he scooted closer to her on the bed and leaned over, and kissed her deeply.
"I would never do that. I only want you three." She let out a little laugh at her own words. "I know it sounds so fucking greedy and a little crazy, but it's what I feel. With Vic, everything feels like it should. You two are happier and I feel as if I found that missing piece inside of me."
Vic stepped forward, happiness shining in his eyes. "I feel the sa-"
"Oh my God, Vic," she gasped in horror at his face as the shadows pulled away from his face.
Face swollen and bruised around his eye and jaw, Vic managed an apologetic half-smile.
Sapphire looked to Joel for answers.
"Don't look at me," Joel held up his free hand in defense. "I wasn't the one who beat his face in."
Sapphire turned her accusing stare at Hayden who gave her an unapologetic smile filled with menace. "He got off light."
Looking back at Vic's poor face she winced at the damage. It only made her feel worse.
"I hate knowing that you two fought," she said mournfully.
"It wasn't much of a fight," Joel snorted. "It was more of Hayden beating Vic's face in while Vic just took it like a sad sack."
Vic sat heavily down at the foot of the bed and twisted around so that he could see her. "I deserved it, I know that."
"And more," Hayden glared at him.
The pain in her chest deepened as she stared at the two men.
"Hey," Joel said softly as he pulled at her chin until she was looking back at him. "No more stressing about this. That's what the doctor said caused you to have the panic attack in the first place as well as the source of your ongoing headaches."
Talking to the doctor had felt like a dream. One moment she was asleep and the next she was woken up and asked a million questions by the man as Joel and Hayden hovered like sentries at the foot of her bed. It hardly seemed real now.
"So back to the question at hand," Joel urged. His thumb swiped gently at her bottom lip and it kept her straying thoughts focused on the here and now. "How do we move forward?" he asked.
All eyes looked to Hayden.
Hayden stiffened and let out a deep breath. Scrubbing a hand over his face and into his long hair he looked from all of them and then to her. "I honestly don't know. I mean I'm still angry and…"
