Page 26 of A Love So Wrong
It was later that night parked in the back of the truckstop's parking lot, and only the light from the gas station's bright overhead lights filtering in from the bunk's window did Gideon let himself relax completely. Laying there in his bunk balancing between the precipice of sleep and his thoughts, he felt better having talked to her. Things between them felt aired out finally. Maybe things between them would return to normal. He could wake up every day to her gentle smile again instead of the strained one he had been getting ever since they left.
Turning in his bunk, he frowned a little at his own lack of sense, he should have known Jade wouldn't just dive headfirst into this new lifestyle. Of course, she would be scared, hell, he was as well to a degree. Gideon was making a mental pledge to himself to reassure her more when he heard the bunk creak above him. Laying still, he watched as a pair of shapely brown legs dangled off the side of the bunk's ledge. Lowering herself to the floor with a gymnast's silent grace, Jade stood next to his bunk. He was about to say something when she reached down and grabbed at the edge of his cover. Pulling it back, she lifted her leg, and instinctively Gideon scooted back, giving her room. Silently, she slipped in between the quilt and sheet and scooted in next to him. Normally, the bed was a tight fit just for him, but now as she slipped in next to him, Gideon could feel the full press of the back wall behind him. He wanted to ask her what was wrong, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to form words as her hands slipped around his waist. For a moment, his thoughts seemed to shut completely off, and his body began firing up in male instincts. He could feel the heat of his blood begin to rush everywhere other than his brain, and Gideon had to force himself not to crush her to his body.
A sniffle echoed in the nonexistent space between them, and Gideon looked down. Using the little bit of light in the cabin, he strained to see her face. Watery and big, her eyes looked up at him in a silent plea.
"I'm going to try to do better," she promised in a thick whisper. "Just let me lay here tonight, please. Hold me like you did that night back at the house. I need you-"
Gideon pressed the back of her head towards him, muffling the rest of her words. He wouldn't survive if she continued talking like that. Feeling her soften against his body, Gideon felt himself do the exact opposite.
It felt like a path to heaven—paved in broken glass.
~*~
Traveling from the south into the northern states, they both watched the scenery around them change. Endless flat lands slowly rendered their shape around them, rising up in slow, gentle slopes like waves to a sea. Farmland was everywhere, countless acres of land usually only occupied with one or two solitary buildings as a sign of life. Jade often found herself wondering about the lives of those who inhabited those old wooden farmhouses. Who were they? How far did they have to drive to visit friends or go to church? How did they stand the pitch-black darkness when the sun finally fell? What did they do for fun way out here? How did it feel knowing that all around you were miles and miles of complete quiet solitude?
When she had asked Gideon if he could ever live out there, he laughed and looked from the illuminated road ahead of him that night, giving her an expression that asked if she was being serious.
"Hell no," he finally said.
Jade laughed, not expecting such a passionate answer.
Shaking his head, he stared off into the dark night ahead of them, only illuminated by the truck's powerful headlights. "You do see that there ain't shit out here, right? Good Lord, living out here," he repeated, shaking his head much in the way their mother would have, which only made Jade laugh harder. "Baby girl, this isn't just country living, this is "COHN-TREE," he pronounced. "It's dark as fuck out here, and there ain't not one street light to hug up to for comfort. No," he shook his head, resolute in his decision. "No ma'am, I can't be the one."
Catching her breath, Jade had wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes. "Ok then, I now know deep country life is not an option."
~*~
Pouring the dark brown coffee into her paper cup, Jade was looking for the correct matching black lid when she heard her name.
"Hi, Jade."
Turning to the source of the soft-spoken voice, Jade smiled when she saw Toby standing behind her, holding one of the largest cups she had ever seen. Emblazoned in orange in blue lightning lettering along the side, the cup readExtra Large Biggie!
"It is Jade, right?" Toby frowned, and his round face immediately reddened in embarrassment at her silence.
She nodded with a little laugh. "I'm sorry, yes, you're right, it's Jade, and you're Toby, right?"
She had only met the older man once before, nearly a month ago, during the first few weeks of her and Gideon's exiled trucker life. New Jersey, one of the country's largest shipping hubs, was every trucker's least favorite place to be but always where they begrudgingly ended up in one way or another. Located right off the highway outside Kearny, there were about seven huge industrial buildings all lined with docks that were bordered in a thick, black rubbery material. Each loading dock running trailers in and out filled with goods at all hours of the day. Rife with truckers, the area was full of opportunist businesses based around the trucker's needs. Across the street, next door to where Gideon was currently waiting for their next load, was a huge full-service truck stop that included just about every amenity a driver could need: showers, a truck wash, three dine-in restaurants, a barbershop, and a convenience store that had more pornographic magazines than Jade counted bags of chips.
"Yeah, I'm surprised you remembered me." Toby's eyes brightened. "I saw Gideon's truck parked two docks over from mine. He said dispatch gave him a four hour wait time."
Shifting her huge bag of laundry at her feet, Jade moved away from the coffee machines for the group of weary drivers headed their way. A bit taller than her and considerably wider, Toby took a few steps closer to her using his girth like a buffer as the group of grumbling drivers crowded desperately around the coffee.
"Can't believe they have me waiting ten goddamn hours for this load," one man said as he snatched a paper cup from the dispenser.
"Yeah, well, at least the detention money is good," another man grunted before taking a huge gulp of straight black coffee. "Hell, pay me to sleep while I wait for them to get their shit together."
The other two men in the group nodded appreciatively at the statement, but the first man could not be consoled. "Fuck that, my company only pays the lowest goddamn rate for it. Hell, I'd rather be back on the fucking road so I can go the fuck home in time to catch some of my kid's wrestling tournaments."
After refilling their cups while the conversation turned into one of comparisons over who spent less time at home, the men slowly ambled towards the barbeque restaurant tucked in the corner of the gas station.
Sharing a sympathizing look with Toby, she took a sip of her coffee. The bitter taste made her nose wrinkle. It definitely needed more sugar. Reading her face, Toby laughed and grabbed a couple of packets of sugar off the condiment rack behind him.
Handing her the packets, Toby looked at the huge bag resting in front of her feet. "Laundry?"
Groaning, Jade leaned back against the wall behind her. "Yep. I need to do the laundry, vacuum out the cab, and then pick up some groceries."
Toby gave her a wistful look and shook his head. "Man, Gideon sure is lucky to have you with him. I would kill to have home-cooked food every night."
