Page 17 of A Love So Wrong
Leaning against the table and crossing his arms, Gavin watched as Gideon consolidated three sets of cinnamon rolls into one dish and stacked two cake containers on top of another in a clear attempt to make some free space on the table.
"So, what's the plan now?" Gavin asked, his voice lowered so that the other three wouldn’t overhear him.
Not looking up from his task, Gideon grabbed the two large bags of pre-made dinner rolls on the other side of the table. "Simple," he said, thinking of the countless afternoons he and Henry planned out every possible detail of his imminent passing. "Plan for the worst and hope for the best."
After an hour, Beans, Ebony, and Gavin gave Gideon a quiet goodbye at the door, all of them promising to come over tomorrow to check on them. Finally, alone, Gideon grabbed the knot of his black tie and pulled it loose. Draping it on the back of Henry's empty chair, Gideon began undoing the buttons to his gray vest as he stared at the sleeping figure on the couch. Having cried herself to sleep, Jade leaned against the arm of the couch, breathing lightly. Quietly, Gideon removed his dress shoes and socks until he was left only in his black slacks and white button-down shirt.
Turning the lights off and checking the locks around the house, he eventually made his way back to the couch, this time standing in front of it. Staring down at his objective, Gideon didn't bother trying to hold back the urge to touch her. For nearly five days, it had felt as if she had been lost to him. Henry's death had seemingly thrown her back into the fortress of her silence, and with each day, he could feel her turning the keys on the impregnable door that she hid behind. Gideon hated it. He hated every minute of her silence. He wanted to grab her, to rage and yell at her not to shut him out. Didn't she know he couldn't do this alone? Didn't she understand that everything he was now was because of her? She couldn't just leave him for her silent abyss, they needed to stay together.
Crouching down onto his haunches, Gideon reached out and let his fingertips brush away the soft brown lock of hair from her face. Tear-streaked and a little swollen around the eyes, even as she slept, he could see the muscles bunch between her delicately arched eyebrows in worry. It killed him to see it. He had sworn to himself years ago when she came back for him that he would never see that expression on her face again.
~
For the second day in a row, he had stood by the front window of their foster home. Twice now, Mrs. Cade told him to come away from the window, but twice he ignored her. Gideon would continue ignoring her, he thought, just like he ignored the snide remarks of the other kids telling him his "girlfriend" wasn't coming back. He ignored them all. They didn't know what they were talking about. Jade wouldn't just leave him without saying goodbye. For months they had stuck together like glue, as Mrs. Cade said, never leaving each other's side for long. They played together, ate meals together, and went to school together, so she wouldn't just leave without saying goodbye. But with each passing hour, as he stood in front of the bay window by the front door and looked out, his hope faded a bit further. Maybe she wasn't allowed to come back? Mrs. Cade said she had been called back for a third interview with the people that wanted to adopt her. Maybe she wasn't allowed to come back. Maybe, she was even adopted. Though she didn't talk much, Jade had nodded when he asked her after her first interview if the people were nice. From everything Gideon could think to ask, the Lattimores seemed like a nice family that really liked Jade. Whenever he asked her if she liked them in return, she would nod, but each time he followed the question with whether she would want to live with them or not, she always shook her head. Gideon was ashamed to say it made him feel good to hear that. Whenever he thought of Jade being adopted, his heart felt like it was being torn in two. He didn't want her to leave, but at the same time, he knew she couldn't stay here forever.
On the third day, when she still hadn't come back, Gideon had woken up with puffy, red eyes and the sniggering laughs of his bunkmates. They pointed and laughed, telling the other kids Gideon had cried in his bed all night. He wanted to turn around and hit them, he wanted to bloody their noses and make them cry, but he didn't. He was still on probation from the last fight, and he knew Jade would not like it if he got in trouble. That thought gave him pause. Still dressed in his pajamas on his way to breakfast, Gideon paused in the living room and stood. Light from the bay window streamed onto the old stained carpet and worn sofa. The last little bit of hope within him died as he turned angrily away and headed to the kitchen with all of the rest of the kids.
Taking his seat at the table, Gideon reached for the box of cereal just as Mrs. Cade put down the corded phone on the receiver with a surprised look. Looking at the front door and back to Gideon, she paused as if trying to make sense of something before finally putting together the sentence in her head.
"Umm, Gideon?" she waited until his tired puffy eyes met hers. And for the first time since meeting the stern foster mother, Mrs. Cade's eyes softened just a bit before immediately snapping back to her firm, no-nonsense stare. "Hurry up and finish eating. Once you are done, I want you to go and pack up all of your things, you hear me?"
Confused, he nodded.
An hour later, Gideon stood on the porch with Mrs. Cade with his backpack on as the other kids played in the yard. Mrs. Cade had told him not to play and to stay on the porch with her so he wouldn't get dirty. It didn't matter to him. He didn't want to play anyways. Sitting down on the wooden porch, Gideon picked at the old paint on the banister when a dark green pick-up stopped in front of the house. Even now, as Gideon recalled that fateful day, time seemed slow as he remembered the truck door opening, revealing a tall bearded man. On the other side, a shorter blonde woman with a kind face stepped out and opened the back door to let out a third person. With speed he had never seen her possess, Gideon watched in stunned momentary silence as a familiar figure raced around the truck and stopped on the sidewalk. Hazel eyes scanned the yard until they landed on him, sitting on the porch. With a piercing scream of his name, Jade ran down the paved path towards him with her arms out. Gideon ignored the shocked stares of the other kids. Maybe they were just as surprised to see Jade again, or maybe they were shocked to hear the silent girl's voice for the first time, Gideon didn't care. Launching himself off the porch, he met her halfway and clutched her back just as hard when her arms went around him. At that moment and even now, he could not describe the intensity of his emotions. All he knew was that he needed her, and he would never let go of her again.
And thankfully, he didn't have to. Apparently, for two full days, Jade found her voice just enough to beg and somehow convince the Lattimores to adopt Gideon too. With open arms and warm smiles, the Lattimores had taken both him and Jade into their home, giving them a life Gideon could have never dreamed of.
~
Slipping his arm under her legs and the other behind her back, Gideon lifted Jade from the couch and into his arms. Turning towards her room, he could feel her stir in his grip. Looking down, his heart tightened at the feel of her face nuzzling into his shoulder and her arms wrapping around his neck.
"Our perfect home—it feels broken now," she spoke thickly into the fabric of his shirt. "Like all the light has been let out of it."
Inside of her room now, Gideon walked over to the side of her bed and gently placed her on top of the covers. Removing her shoes, he sat them down before planting one hand on the side of her head and lowering himself down to place a kiss on her forehead. "Not all the light is gone. You and I are still here, still together," he said.
Guilt tangled with realization in her eyes as she reached out and grabbed his shoulder, surprising him with her sudden strength as she pulled him closer to her. "I love you, Gideon, I will never leave you. Only when you get some horrible girlfriend, I most likely won't like and force me to take a step back out of your life, only then will I leave."
Letting himself fall the rest of the way to her bed, Gideon lay draped playfully on top of her. Ignoring her groaning complaint at his weight, he lay there for a moment inhaling deeply before he eventually stood up straight and gave her a lopsided grin. "Get some sleep and stop worrying about things that will never happen."
