Page 15 of A Love So Wrong
Chapter 6
Sitting up against the mountain of pillows stacked against his headboard, Henry gave Gideon a weary look before succumbing to another fit of coughs.
Thinner than Gideon had ever seen the man, Henry laid his head back against the pillows and closed his eyes in exhaustion. Four months ago, they had all thought the trip to the doctor's office would have turned out routine. A prescription of some antibiotics and done. Hell, worst-case scenario, maybe a diagnosis of pneumonia—but never this. Years of smoking in his youth had come back for its payment. Despite stopping once he and Sandra decided to adopt and turn to a new chapter in their life, the effects still lingered in the shadows hiding and waiting until it was ready to spring out when everyone least expected it.
The proclamation of lung cancer swept through their once sunny household like a hurricane leaving them wrecked and forever changed.
"Go get your sister," Henry rasped. "I need to talk to you both about something."
Nodding, Gideon pulled his phone out of his pocket and texted Jade.
Still on her summer break from her Junior year, Jade used nearly every minute of her day alternating between taking care of their father and mother. While the news of cancer had hit both he and Jade hard, it was nothing like how it hit Sandra. The first week, her response was understandable, lots of tears and stretches of pale silence staring out the window. But slowly, she seemed to change in a way no one was quite prepared for. It was as if without anyone truly realizing it, Sandra had been much closer to her mental edge, and the news just pushed her over that edge.
Every day she woke up cheerier than the last. It was as if she alone had gone back in time and nothing at all ever happened. She seemingly ignored the fact that Henry was wasting away beside her each day and spoke to him as if all was well. She inquired about possible loads he would take that day and where to. She would even lightly scold him for not going down to the bar on Friday and Saturday nights like he used to, even going so far as to tell him that "if he kept this up, he wouldn't have any friends left." Tired and at the end of his rope, Gideon had nearly lost his composure at that time. He was beyond tired of not talking about the elephant in the room when it came to her sanity. He wanted to walk up to her and shake her and shout the facts at her, but he didn't. Swallowing his frustration, Gideon had looked past Sandra's too-bright eyes and found Jade's watery gaze staring beseechingly back at him. Holding his tongue, Gideon simply held fast to his anger, completely ignoring his mother's mental breakdown, and worked with Jade to navigate around it.
The door to the bedroom opened. About to step one foot forward, they could all hear Sandra's muffled voice from the living room ask Jade a question causing her to pause after a second, Jade answered. "Yes, I will take it out of the oven when it's ready, momma," she called back and paused. "Do you want red yarn or blue?" Receiving her answer, Jade gave Henry an apologetic look as she stepped in and closed the door.
Gideon felt his chest tighten as he noticed the strain in Jade's expression. She was tired. Between the two of them, they had been working nonstop keeping Henry and Sandra cared for. Cooking, cleaning, running errands, making doctor's calls, and sometimes Jade taking Henry to appointments Gideon himself couldn’t get to, they were stretched thin.
When was the last time he had seen her smile or laugh with him? Nearly two months ago, he thought with a ghost of a smirk. When they both realized Gideon was going to have to take over Henry's weekly runs in the new rig, and it forced them to make the decision for her to learn stick-shift so she could drive Henry's pick-up. Having taken driver's education at school last year, Jade had only ever learned how to drive an automatic. Using Henry's old forest-green pick-up, Gideon had sat beside her for nearly three hours, sometimes laughing sometimes poking fun as Jade begrudgingly learned to work the clutch and the gearshift. Once comfortable enough, she was able to run the errands Sandra no longer seemed able to run as well as take Henry to his many appointments.
"Sit down, Jade," Henry patted the empty side of the bed to his right.
Gideon sat in a chair on Henry's left and watched as Jade couldn’t resist reaching over to straighten one of Henry's many pillows.
"I want you both to listen to me very carefully," he said, his tone serious.
Gideon shifted to the edge of his seat. Instinctively, he wanted to bounce his knee with the growing tension suddenly filling the room. There was something abruptly stark in Henry's expression, something that sat like a lead weight in Gideon's stomach. Glancing over to Jade, he felt that tension reach into his chest as he noted her worried expression and her hands clasped in her lap. They were so tightly wound as if all of the leftover fear and worry were being funneled to her hands. If Gideon could reach her from across the bed, he would take them in his hands just to break the death grip, but instead, all he could do was sit there and wait for whatever Henry wanted to say.
"I'm not getting any better," he announced.
As if on reflex, Jade immediately jumped to refute the dire claim. "That's not-"
Henry held up a hand cutting Jade's immediate defense off.
"This isn't the time to sugar coat anything, sweetheart," looking away from her stricken face, he turned to Gideon. "I need to be real honest about the facts, and I need you both to listen and do as I say. You understand me?"
Despite the fatigue in his eyes and the frailty in his once-powerful body, Henry's tone was firm.
"I know, and the doctors know I am not going to last long, and when that day finally comes, I want you both to be prepared. Sandra…" he paused and turned to his face towards the double sliding doors behind Gideon, which overlooked the sprawling green backyard and the towering pine trees that naturally bordered their property.
It was raining outside, and the light pouring into the room was dismal and seemed somehow too fitting for this moment.
With a pained expression and a labored sigh, Henry forced out the words that seemed bitter on his tongue. "Sandra just isn't strong enough to endure…she never has been if I'm being honest with myself. From the moment I met her, she always felt a little fragile. But I liked that about her,” he let loose a deep breath with a shaky smile. “She made me feel strong when I took care of her, but I can see now I may have indulged that side of her too much and ignored signs of something probably much deeper at hand. I have no pride when I say she won't survive very well without me. I fully recognize that now. But hear me, both of you," he gave Gideon a stern look before placing it on Jade and letting it linger. His next words were for her, and Gideon could feel her flinch as her worried eyes took an almost frightened look. "I do not want either of you taking my place for her, do you hear me. I spent my life taking care of her, it was a burden I happily endured, but I refuse to have you both throw away your lives doing the same."
Jade opened her mouth to speak, but Henry shook his head and leaned forward and grabbed her hand. With his face reddening, he let out a deep, ragged cough into his other hand, but his eyes filled with tears as he looked desperately at Jade.
"Jade darling, please, I know how you are. I know you have been doing everything for Sandra and me out of gratefulness."
As if she had been shot, Jade's eyes filled with tears as she jerked in her seat and clasped their father's hand tighter in her own. Jade shook her head, profusely. "No, that's not it I—"
"Then tell me you love me, Jade," Henry commanded desperately, tears rolling down the man's cheeks.
Gideon could feel his insides turning hot and cold as he watched the two people he loved cry. He had never seen Henry cry, he realized, and it hurt more than words could ever express to watch it happen.
"I love you more than anything," Jade whispered as tears streamed down her plump freckled cheeks.
"Then listen to me. I don't want you taking care of Sandra for the rest of your life. Sandra is a grown woman and though sometimes she seems like she is innocent and childlike, trust me when I tell you there is a part of her that is fully aware of her actions. Promise me," he demanded in a low whispering voice.
