Page 35 of A Love So Wrong
"No doubt about it. Hell, I wasn't arguing that," he turned his head, and Jade could feel time slow as she watched the smile he only used on other women pull at the corners of his lips. "I see beauty every day."
Jade's heart shuddered in her chest. Turning away from him, she forced herself to look back out her window. Little lights dotted the landscape beyond; porch lights, window lights, and a few car lights all signs of life huddling around the town. Jade tried to focus on those mundane details, anything to calm her beating heart. Each day it was getting harder and harder to deny the unnamed feeling lingering in the air. It was driving her crazy. With each flirtatious smile he gave her, with each soft, innocuous touch, Jade's heart twisted in her chest. She had no idea what to think anymore. Was she overreacting? Was she putting too much stock in the way his kisses to her forehead and cheeks have increased or the way his touches always seemed to land on spots that made her tremble? Doubt, shame, and fear were her constant companions now torturing her thoughts. She loved Gideon, she always had. But why now did it feel like her love was growing beyond the bounds she placed on it long ago? Why did everything inside of her hurt when she looked back at him now, and his smile was back to the normal familial smile he had given her since they were kids?
Blinking, Jade looked down at her hands in her lap and searched her mind for another subject. Anything to push her thoughts away from focusing on him.
"So umm, it was nice seeing Toby this morning, wasn't it?" not waiting for a reply, she rambled on. "It was pure luck. I decided to check my Facebook and saw his message."
Leaning back in his seat Gideon grabbed his water bottle and took a healthy swig as he gave her a familiar wry look.
"What? What's that face for?"
Gideon snorted. "Yeah, a stroke of luck, my ass, that man has just taken his love for you up a notch to the stalking level."
Jade gave him a bewildered look. "What?" she frowned, thinking back to Toby's sweet face. "I don't-"
"Yes, he does," Gideon said dryly, cutting her off.
Annoyed, Jade rolled her eyes. "Whatever, you think any guy old or young wants me. I don't know why you value me so highly. But let me tell you from the perspective of the person who is so-called being lusted after by so many men as you claim, I haven't sensed anything from anyone," she said a little bitterly.
It was actually something that bothered her. Back in Stardust, it seemed like everyone she knew was highly sought after, whereas herself—not so much. Gideon with his all-star perfect boy wonder personality, Ebony with her killer good looks and serious stare, Gavin with his bad-boy vibes, heck, even Taylor with his sweet demeanor all the girls found utterly fascinating, everyone except for their mutual silent nerdy friend. It was disheartening to one's self-esteem, to say the least.
Gideon let out a bark of laughter. "Like you could tell. You’re the worst Jade, when it comes to reading other dudes' clear and obvious signs, you are terrible."
Jade opened her mouth to argue, but Gideon didn't give her a chance to speak.
"You can't see that because you're stuck in your own head most of the time,” he informed her.
"I'm not," she proclaimed. She hated how he made it sound as if she was just a dense, self-conscious idiot.
"Trust me,” he muttered. “It would make my life a whole helluva lot easier if you started picking up on these things."
"I'm so sorry I have been making your life miserable," she snapped hotly.
"Are you actually angry with me right now?" he said, lifting one eyebrow, and she could feel the sparks of his own anger beginning to strike against hers.
"Yes, Gideon, I am. How perceptive of you," she said, tartly not caring if this turned into a full-blown argument or not. She knew it looked silly, and she knew she probably sounded like she was overreacting, but she didn't care. He couldn't just make blanket statements like that about her. "You make it seem like I am some clueless dunce, and you expect me not to be offended."
"How the fuck did you get that from that?" he demanded.
Not trusting herself to say anything, she pressed her lips together and turned her head away from him, staring at her own reflection out the dark passenger window.
"Jade," he said warningly.
For a second, she briefly considered letting him stew in the silence he hated. Seeing that he was taking an exit, she used the opportunity of the slowing vehicle to unbuckle her seatbelt and get up.
"I don't care, Gideon," she informed him with a shrug he couldn't see as she stepped into the bunk area and rummaged through her belongings, getting her bathing bag ready. With her back to him, she continued. "Tie me up, do whatever you threatened me with before," she said boldly, feeling the truck make the turn. "I honestly don’t want to talk to you anymore tonight."
She could feel the truck sway in one more turn before she heard the double click of the gears being put in park. With barely a sound, Gideon stood up from his chair and walked towards her.
Warily, she tilted her head back as he stopped only a pace away from her. If she inhaled too deeply, the tips of her breasts would touch his chest. Jade made sure to take tiny shallow breaths.
Tilting his head, Gideon gave her a searching look before smiling softly. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, don't be mad at me. I'm just saying you are terrible at reading guys. The fact that you can't see that Toby is slightly obsessed with you is proof enough," he explained.
Still, Jade said nothing. Averting her gaze from his, she tried to look beyond him to the parking lot outside. What if he gave her another one of those devastatingly chaste kisses again? Weren't they in a position just like this the last time he did that? Dear God, she hoped not. She would not survive another.
"Don't be mad, talk to me," he said thickly as he lifted his hand to the side of her face, gently pushing her curls over her shoulder. She wondered, could he see the tremble that shook through her from that action? Could he see her pulse at her neck thrumming wildly? "Toby even gave me some of his coupon credit he earned for a free shower in the big stall they have," Gideon coaxed. "He said you told him how we are trying to save every dollar we can," he explained.
Needing to get out from this close proximity to him, Jade nodded and smiled. It wasn't worth trying to maintain her anger if she had to endure this too. Satisfied at her acquiescence, Gideon grabbed his own things. Inside the truck-stop's storefront, Gideon made his way to the cash register while she rummaged around in their books and magazines aisle. After a few minutes, Gideon walked back over to her catching her eye.
