Page 10 of A Love So Wrong
"No, I don't like the idea," he snapped with a near growl to his deep words.
Jade jerked at his sudden rage. Seeing the shock on her face, he closed his eyes and scrubbed his face impatiently, guilty he made her feel this way.
Sitting back on the edge of her bed, closer now, he took both of her shoulders in his hands and rubbed them slowly. "I'm sorry," he said, watching her wide hazel eyes look back at him with confusion. "I'm a guy, and I know how we think. You would think it would change going from high school to college, but God, it doesn't. It somehow only gets worse. The things I hear guys say, the things I hear them plan on doing with these girls. Girls that are only a year or so older than you. It's…maddening sometimes when I know they wouldn't hesitate to think or do those things to you, Jade."
Gideon sat very still as she pulled away from his grasp only to lean her face against his chest. Closing his eyes, he held back the deep groan of satisfaction buried deep in his chest. His arms twitched with the need to wrap them around her and hold her to him tighter, but he resisted.
"Well, lucky for me, you’re there to stop them, right?" she asked with a tired playfulness to her voice.
Relieved, he breathed deeply. "You're goddamn right."
Letting one hand rest on her warm back, he began to rub it up and down, fighting with himself over the next question at the tip of his tongue. He didn't want this moment to end, but he needed to ask.
"Do you plan on seeing him again?" he asked, his words taut and strained.
Shaking her head against his chest, she buried her face deeper as she answered, muffling her words. "No, I don't think so."
Gideon could hear the guilt in her tone and pushed at her shoulders gently until he could get a good look at her face. Nervously, her eyes darted away from his.
He gave her a silent, questioning look. He was more than curious to know why, but at the same time, he was so relieved he could flop backward onto the bed with a giant sigh and just fall asleep happy.
"I know it's probably just me," she began. "But it’s just too stressful to think of doing it all over again another night. I was so tense tonight, it was like I could never relax. I kept wondering if I was talking enough, did I look happy, or did I even look pretty. I saw other girls on dates wearing dresses, but when I got dressed, I thought I should be comfortable and—"
"You looked good," he said, cutting her off. "Too good actually, so take that off your list of doubts."
Jade smiled at him, appreciatively. Finding his hand on the bed, she covered it with her own and gave it a squeeze before sighing.
"I'm just too tired. I don't think I'm cut out for dating," she confessed.
Praise Jesus, he thought.
"You're just not cut out for datingthatboy," he said even though everything inside of Gideon wanted to just leave it at that. Never dating again, great, what more could he ask for? But he knew he needed to correct her thinking. He couldn't, even for a second, let her think it was her fault. "You definitely shouldn't feel tired or relieved that the date is over. That's the universal sign that it was not a good date."
Jade shook her head. "But it was good," she stressed, "or at least it should've been. He was very nice and made me laugh, but..."
Gideon didn't want to hear about some kid making her laugh. It felt like walking over hot coals at just the thought of her enjoying herself with some high school boy.
Another thought stilled him, stopping the very blood in his veins for the second time that night. Not trusting himself, he let go of her shoulders and schooled his features.
With a held breath, he somehow managed to ask. "Did he try to kiss you?"
Seconds passed between them like licks of a flame slowly burning him at the stake. His heart slowed as he watched her gaze drop to her hands on her lap.
"Yes," she answered softly.
Please just kill him now, God. Kill this fucking kid where he slept.
Gideon’s voice felt raspier as he struggled to form the words. "But you didn't—"
"I wanted to see what it was like," Jade rushed to explain, still not meeting his gaze fully.
Hundreds of emotions began to drown him from the inside out. He wanted to grab and shake her, to yell and rage at her for allowing some fucking stranger to put his lips on hers. Did the piece of shit pull her close when he kissed her? Did he run his fingers through her soft curls and cradle her head as he worked his mouth over hers? Did he press his arousal against her letting her know just exactly how she made him feel? Gideon blinked. It felt as if his world was spinning out of control.
"Are you mad?" she asked, the fearful hesitation in her voice plain to hear.
Mad could never begin to express what he was feeling. "Did you enjoy it?" Gideon’s voice sounded rough as if he just swallowed salt-rock.
Why was he asking this? Was he some sort of sick fuck who enjoyed punishment?
