Page 38 of Second Dance
Then reality crashed back.
“Dad!”
The word cut through the air, sharp enough to slice through the haze. Gillian jerked back, eyes wide, as Bella stood frozen at the end of the aisle, her face pale with fury, arms wrapped tight across her chest.
For a heartbeat, none of us moved. I felt Gillian’s breath still warm on my lips, her hand still trembling at the back of my neck,and my daughter’s eyes locked on both of us like we’d committed some unthinkable crime.
“Bella—” My voice came out gruff, unsteady. I dropped my hand from Gillian's waist and straightened, trying to pull myself together.
Behind her, I caught sight of two other girls shifting uncomfortably, but my focus snapped back to my daughter’s face.
Gillian pulled back, her fingers sliding from my neck as she put distance between us. She pressed her lips together and crossed her arms, then immediately uncrossed them, clearly unsure what to do with her hands. Her eyes moved from Bella to me and back again.
“Bella, it’s not what you think,” I said, though even as the words left my mouth, I knew they sounded thin. It was exactly what she thought.
“Don’t lie to me. It’s so obvious.” Bella’s voice cracked, rage and grief twisting together. “So it’s serious? You’re not just going out with her. You’re kissing her in bookstores like some lovesick teenager.”
“Bella—”
“You didn’t even care what I said, did you? I told you I wasn’t okay with this, but you don’t care at all about how I feel.” Her voice cracked, but her eyes blazed, hard as glass. “It’s like I don’t matter to you at all.”
My chest tightened, making it hard to breathe. “That’s not true,” I managed, stepping toward her.
She took a step back, hands trembling at her sides. “Mom’s only been gone two years. Two years. And you’re already replacing her with some woman you knew forever ago.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Have you been in love with her this whole time? Even when you were with Mom?”
The words punched even more air from my lungs. I opened my mouth, desperate to tell her she was wrong, but no sound came. Behind me, I felt Gillian step back.
“You’re beyond selfish,” Bella spat, tears finally spilling over. “You only ever think about yourself. I thought—” Her voice broke completely. “I thought Peter and I mattered to you. That you would do anything for your kids. But I guess I was wrong.”
She spun away, charging out the front door, the two other kids following behind and leaving Gillian and me standing frozen among the romance novels and their mocking covers of promised love.
8
GILLIAN
After the horrific scene at the bookstore, I’d asked Alex to drive me home. He hadn’t even tried to persuade me otherwise, simply nodded with a grim expression on his handsome face. All the way back to my house, we were silent. I had no idea what to say or how to process what just happened. He appeared to feel the same, as he drove with both hands gripping the steering wheel and his gaze fixed on the road. All the intimacy of earlier had vanished.
What had I been thinking? That we’d just carry on like we were still young and unencumbered? We had three teenagers between us. Two of whom had been through hell. It wasn’t surprising that Bella reacted that way. Grace wanted me to find someone so badly she’d risked my anger over the dating profile fiasco, but that was unusual. However, except for her first six months with her father, she’d not had a father figure in her life, thus a man in my life wouldn’t feel threatening. Or like I was trying to replace anyone.
When we arrived at my house, I noticed Delphine and Lila’s cars in the driveway. They’d come to pick up their girls and had stayed, probably anxious to hear how my night went. I dreaded telling them.
Alex shut off the engine and turned toward me. “Gillie, I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what to say.”
“It’s all right,” I said, trying not to cry. “Our lives are complicated. And these kids have to be our first priority.”
“What’re you saying?” His voice sounded like he was speaking in a smoky room.
“I’m not saying anything. Not tonight anyway. I had a wonderful time tonight, and I’d love to see you again. But I can’t be the reason you have a bad relationship with your daughter. And it’s not for me to sort out. You have to decide how you want to handle her feelings.”
He rubbed his eyes, shoulders slumped. “I wish she could be supportive like Peter and Grace. I thought she might bristle a bit but I had no idea she would have such a strong reaction.”
“She saw her father kissing a woman who is not her mother. Of course it triggered big feelings.” I touched his arm. “I’m sorry about what she said. You’re not selfish. You’re the opposite. Please remember that when you think through what you’d like to do about all of this. Also, you don’t owe me anything. So please do what you need to do for you and your family.” I sounded so supportive, when inside I was crumbling. How could I have found him again only to lose him so quickly? But again, what had I expected? Finding love as a single parent was nearly impossible.
“Two dates, yes. But we know each other like only people do when they fall in love when they’re young.”
I couldn’t help but smile, knowing I’d thought the same thing earlier in the evening. “I can’t deny that.”
“I’m sorry our first kiss was ruined,” Alex said.
