Page 62 of Light Up The Night
"Nyx did not intend any harm," she says. "You should not be angry with him."
"I know. I'm not." I pull back and look at her. "I guess I just want to be the kinda guy you…" I trail off, finding it nearly impossible to say out loud. "Can be proud of." It's barely a whisper.
“That is…flattering, I suppose, is the only word that feels apropos.” She looks at me so tenderly it fucking hurts, like biting into something so sweet your teeth ache. "But Riley, perhaps you should focus instead on being someoneyoucan be proud of."
Right to the gut, that comment. "Wisest person I know," I whisper. "Can I kiss you?"
"Oh," she breathes, "please?"
Feel like the luckiest motherfucker on the planet, then, when she looks at me like that, eager, eyes sparking with desire, excited, asking me to kiss her—it's all there on the surface, unhidden, exuberant. She's just so…open. So vulnerable. So brave with her emotions. You get used to people hedging their bets, pulling back behind a veil of indifference so they don't risk being hurt. You get used to people playing it cool. Not her, not Cadence.
I slide my lips against hers and sigh in something like relief, something like happiness so deep it feels sharp and impossible. And then she's melting against my body and her fingertips ghost along my cheekbones and her mouth opens and she invites my tongue into her mouth and gasps in delight when I give it to her.
"I could kiss you forever," I breathe.
She pulls away, and I feel a heaviness descend upon her. "Riley, if this fundraising event succeeds—"
"It will," I insist. "I have no doubt at all."
"Then in less than two weeks, I will be departing for Africa." She pauses, her gaze serious, concerned. "I have planned to be gone for up to six months."
I rock back on my heels. “Holy shit—six months? I was thinking a few weeks, maybe a month."
"No. In order to accomplish anything meaningful, I must have enough time to establish myself.” She searches me, worried. "I had not considered that until earlier. I…I have gotten caught up in…" she trails off, sighing, shaking her head. "You. This. Coming to know you. And it seems I have neglected to factor in the reality that I will be leaving for a long time, very soon. And Three Rivers is…"
"Not home for you," I finish.
"Precisely." She looks upset, shaken, almost. "Riley, I care for you. More so than I could have ever imagined I could in so short a time. I worry that our parting will be the source of pain for us both."
"I care about you, too, Cadence." I search myself, and give her the truth. "Fact of the matter is, when you leave, it'll suck. I really,reallyfuckin' like you. If you lived here, I'd be beggin' you to give me a chance."
"A chance to what, Riley?” she asks.
The things I find myself explaining to this girl. Honestly, though, it forces me to look at myself and the things I take for granted. I've learned more from her in the two days I've known her than from anyone else in the rest of my life combined.
"Be with you. To date you."
She rocks back on her heels, eyes flying wide. "You…you would want that?”
I laugh in disbelief. “Want it? Babe, yes. With all my heart."
"With me?"
"Yeah, with you."
"But I'm—"
I cut in. "A legit fuckin' super-genius, wise, funny, fascinating, and beautiful. To name just a few of your qualities."
Her eyes go misty. "Riley, my goodness. I hardly know what to say. I…" She wipes at her eyes with her middle fingers. "If I had not spent months planning this trip, I might think about canceling or at least delaying it—"
"Absolutely not," I growl. "I wouldn't let you. This is who you are. I see that. I wouldn't change it for fuckin'anything, Cadence. It'll suck a big one having you leave when I'm just gettin' to know you, but I couldn't live with myself if I held you back from what you feel called to do."
Eyes shimmering, she looks up at me, and the expression on her face makes me feel like the only man on the planet, the only thing that matters, and it's a feeling I'll die treasuring, even if I never see this woman again.
"You are a damned good man, Riley Crowe." Her use of a curse word lends immense weight to her statement.
I almost feel like I could believe it.
