Page 133 of Light Up The Night
I left my rings—not the jewelry he bought me as apologies for forgetting anniversaries and birthdays; that stuff I took with me because fuck being broke.
And now, here I am, back in Three fucking Rivers.
Why?
What's here for me?
Mom and Dad are gone, living in a retirement community down in Palm Beach. I know no one here, anymore.
Yet this is where I came.
I just don't know what to do next.
I need to eat. I need to stretch my legs—I ran into seriously bad traffic on the way up, and the four-hour drive turned into six.
My bladder is on fire and I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.
I spy a cute little coffee shop across the street—Benji's. As I watch and contemplate getting out and going in, a tall, black-haired figure steps out, followed by a smaller individual with curly reddish-blond hair.
My attention is on the man, though. He looks familiar in silhouette. He turns, and I'm stunned—it's Riley Crowe. Good god, he got hotter. Look at those cheekbones! Like every girl in Three Rivers, I had a crush on him at one point, and then on Felix. But it was Cole Mannix who ended up stealing my heart.
Fuck. No, no, no.
Not going there.
Not thinking abouthim—aboutthat.
I realize my hand has gone to my belly, and I snatch it away as if burned.
My eyes prickle.
Dammit, dammit, dammit.
I fight the prickles for a while, the tight throat, the ache of memory.
I should have told him.
He deserves to know.
I just…Icouldn'ttell him, back then. I didn't know how.
And then a month passed, and then a year, and then five, and then a decade and I was a wife and a business owner, and it was painful history.
I hear singing—“O Holy Night.” The St. Michael’s choir files out of the church, carrying those candles with the little paper discs, singing in angelic harmony.
God, it's beautiful.
I can't seem to stop my feet from carrying me out of my car and into the cold. Snow stings my nose, cold nips my ears. I fish my wool hat out of my coat and put it on, and then my matching mittens. Hood up, face hidden. I stay back as a crowd gathers, singing.
My heart wants to lift at the bucolic, cozy, Hallmark-worthy scene. If only I didn't have Eddie's voice in my ear, bitching and complaining and criticizing.
I press up against the side of the cinema's brick wall as the crowd files away once the choir is done with their performance.
I'm about to walk away and find something to eat and a bathroom when I see Riley and his girlfriend still in the square, huddled close. I have to muffle a gasp when he goes to his knee. Good for him, truly. I heard what happened all those years ago, and while I've avoided any information about you-know-who, I've kept tabs on the Crowe brothers. I know Felix got married and has a baby, now, but I'd thought Riley would be a lifelong bachelor.
The woman claps her hands to her mouth as he makes a pretty long-winded proposal. She accepts, and god, they look happy.
I thought that was gonna be me. Eddie swept me off my feet. He was wealthy, successful, handsome. Funny. He seemed to like me. And then love me. I had no reservations about accepting his proposal, which was on a boat on the Detroit River as part of a Valentine's Day date. Yeah, should’ve seen the truth then. Didn’t see the warning signs—how he treated servers or anyone he thought was beneath him…which, spoiler alert, is everyone. The way he spoke to his mother—rude, often mean. I didn't see the possessiveness as a problem until I realized he was tracking my movements with spyware. I didn't see the way he'd hide his phone whenever I was around as a problem until I realized why—that he was a serial cheater.
