Page 129 of Light Up The Night
I lead her back out in the sepia-and-gold lighting, "White Christmas" floating in the air, the strains of the song all tangled up with the swirling snow. There's a small courtyard, more of a tiny park, between the bookstore and the movie theater, and it's Three Rivers's Christmas hub. There's a twenty-foot-tall spruce tree garbed in lights and ornaments, with gift-wrapped boxes beneath it, and benches surrounding it. There's a tiny hut made to look like a gingerbread house with Santa Claus inside—a jovial, white-bearded local named Jimmy Kazinski—dandling kids on his lap and listening to requests and taking photos every night from Thanksgiving to the week of Christmas, from five to eight. Once his time slot is up, he rides away on a sleigh pulled by giant draft horses wearing fake reindeer antlers—weather permitting, obviously. It’s a fun spectacle, and Cadence watches with obvious glee as kid after kid approaches Santa and climbs on his lap while Mom and Dad snap photos. And then he's trundling away through the snowfall, ho-ho-ho-ing out of sight…behind the municipal complex, but the kids don't need to know that.
Now comes the part I wanted her to see: a church choir from St. Michael's, dressed in red velvet robes and hats, carrying candles and singing "O Holy Night" as they fill the square. Thecandles flicker in the cold and the dark, and their harmonizing voices soar, and beside me, Cadence is quietly crying, squeezing my hand, alternating looking at me with that adoration I have a hard time feeling like I deserve, and watching the choir sing. They finish “O Holy Night” and start in on “Silent Night,” and one by one, more voices join in as locals and tourists and shopkeepers and shoppers and diners fill the square until we’re packed in shoulder to shoulder.
Cadence presses into me, rests her head on my shoulder, and we sing. I keep my voice low, because I've been told the sound of my singing is so offensive it's a violation of the Geneva Convention, but Cadence, at least, has a high, soft, lovely voice.
The choir leads us through a couple more songs, and then they file out. I feel a hand press something into mine—Felix, coming through with the request I texted him earlier.
Cadence doesn't see him, thank goodness—she’s too fixated on the scene around us.
The square empties until she and I are the only ones left.
When silence reigns once more, Cadence turns to me. "Riley, that was—" she gasps, hands flying to cover her mouth.
My heart is crashing in my chest as I kneel in front of her. My mouth is dry, my stomach flip-flopping, my hands clammy as I clutch the small red velvet box—a family keepsake Felix has held onto for years.
"Riley?"
I've had this moment in the back of my mind since I saw her in that airport lounge, all but catatonic. I've put it aside. Tried to dismiss it as premature.
Too soon.
But it's all I can think of.
All I want.
Her.
Mine.
Forever.
And yet, now that the moment is here, the speech I've crafted in my brain is totally gone and my mouth is glued shut.
"I…"
Chapter 21
CADENCE
Iam frozen with shock, and no small amount of panic. I cannot breathe, cannot make my legs stop shaking, cannot make my mouth form sentences. Riley, for his part, looks like he is feeling nearly as panicked as I am. The box in his palm is a red velvet ring box, but it's old, the velvet worn by decades. From Main Street, I can barely make out Nat King Cole's voice. Snowflakes swirl thickly, now, settling on Riley's broad shoulders and clinging to his beard.a
His mouth opens and shuts, but no sound comes out; he clears his throat and tries again. "I…this is…shit. I'm already making a mess of this." He squeezes his eyes shut, inhales, holds it, exhales, and then looks up at me, opening the box; my heart skips not one but several beats. "Cadence, I love you. I can honestly say I never thought I'd hear myself say those words. I avoided relationships because I…I've never felt like I'm worthy of being anyone’s…anything. You showed me otherwise. You make me feel like…" his eyes water and he blinks hard, clears his throat again. "Like someone you're proud of being with."
"Because I am," I whisper. "Iamproud to be with you, Riley."
"What you said back at Benji's? Baby, you'rehome." He licks his lips. "At least, that's what I want you to feel. Youcan'toverstay your welcome because you'rehome—with me. I've never had a real girlfriend before. Not really. I just…" he squeezes his eyes shut. "Fuck, I'm really messing this up."
I shake my head, sniffling. "Not at all.”
He laughs softly. "Feels like it. I had a speech, but it flew out of my head. I just…I love you. So fucking much I don't know what to do with it, sometimes. You've changed my life—you've changedme. I never want to go back because the months you were gone were the hardest of my life. I missed you so fucking bad, and…now you're here. And these last few weeks? You living with me? It's what I want out of life. I wantyou, Cadence."
He opens the box, and my heart stops completely for a brief, medically inadvisable moment. The ring is very old, and very simple. A gold band with a tiny round diamond solitaire. "This was my great-grandmother's, and then my grandmother’s, and then my mother's. She…I guess she took it off and gave it back to Dad at some point—I don't know, to be honest. If she did, it’s the one good thing the bitch ever did. I just know that after Dad had his heart attack, we found it in his stuff. I…I remember my grandmother wearing it. She told me once that it was meant for me to give to my wife someday. Why me and not Felix, I don't know and she wouldn’t say but since I never intended to get married, I…" he halts, shakes his head. “I’m babbling, I’m so fucking nervous."
I cannot help but laugh a little. "Riley, my love—"
"Marry me, Cadence," he blurts, shoving the box up toward me. "Please. I love you. I want you in my life forever. Be mine. Be my wife. Be my forever."
The tears I've been fighting back tumble out as he utters the question I truly never thought I would ever hear. I can barely see through the haze of tears, and my heart is pounding, palpitating in my chest, and my hands shake and there is only one possible answer.
