Page 100 of Kiss Me Like I Didn't Kill You
Eleanor clears her throat softly. “I won’t keep you,” she says, her voice calm. “I’ve got a meeting with the dean.”
She moves past us down the path, and we all watch her go.
I make a motion to reach for my bag, but before I can, someone else gets there first. I look up, startled.
Arlo.
He doesn’t say a word. His face stays blank, that hard, calm look that somehow feels more dangerous than anger ever could. For a second, his eyes catch mine, and there’s something there I can’t quite name. Then he turns and walks toward the dorms.
I follow, saying nothing.
The lift hums quietly as it carries us up. The silence between us feels tight. When the doors open, I step out first and unlock my room. He sets my bag just inside and straightens, still silent.
I watch him go. His shoulders are stiff beneath his coat. He doesn’t look back.
I close the door, lean against it, and let my head rest there for a moment, eyes shut, trying to steady my breathing.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
Eleanor is back, but she isn’t whole. I don’t know where she’s been or what she’s endured.
I should feel relieved, but unease coils beneath my ribs instead.
And under that unease, I find fear.
Now that we’re back at the academy, I can’t shake the feeling that everything is about to fall apart again.
Adelaide and my sister will probably be at each other’s throats. Piper will retreat into herself. As for Eleanor, I don’t even know what to expect anymore.
And me… I still don’t have my memories back. I can already feel Arlo pulling away, as though whatever existed between us on that holiday has vanished into the cold.
He’s building walls I can’t seem to cross, and I hate myself for ever trying to. Yet my chest aches, unreasonably, at anything that seems to circle back to him.
That’s when the fear creeps in again. Now that I’m back, I dread finding those notes everywhere I go.
I choose to believe that they were just in my head, that maybe they were never real at all. But even as the thought crosses my mind, I know it’s a lie.
I push it aside for now and head for the shower, trying to wash away the heaviness settling beneath my skin.
That night, I stay in my room.
Alone.
The television murmurs softly in the background while my knitting needles move in a constant rhythm.
It’s peaceful, in a way that almost hurts. After days filled with noise and laughter, the silence feels too empty.
I fall asleep thinking about tomorrow morning, about finally seeing Bellamy.
The girl from first year who’s been looking after him said he’s been restless without me.
The thought makes me smile, faintly.
At least I’ll have him.
At least there’s still one corner of my world untouched.
Chapter 34
