Page 112 of Kiss Me Like I Didn't Kill You
Blood ties change nothing, a man who would force himself on another forfeits any claim to mercy. Monsters like that belong in hell, and he’s earned his place.
Ophelia is pale, her eyes wide and vacant.
“He didn’t actually succeed?” I ask before I can stop myself, the question ripped out of me. My jaw is so clenched it feels like it might snap waiting for her answer.
“No.” She barely manages the word, then the rest tumbles out in a rush. “I… I know what he did was wrong, but I didn’t want to kill him. I just wanted him off me and for the police to deal with it. He deserved to go to prison for assault, what if he’d tried it again with someone else and succeeded? But I shouldn’t have been the executioner. I…I’m a murderer.”
Her voice breaks on the last word, small and incredulous.
If she hadn’t killed him, after finding out what he’d done I would’ve, without a second thought. Call me heartless, but this is fucking unforgivable in my eyes.
But Ophelia’s too good for this rotten world, that’s what pulled me in from the start. She’s the kind of person who feels guilty for doing the right thing, who carries blame even when she shouldn’t.
“We… we really can’t come back from this,” she whispers again, like she’s lost in a trance.
I step forward. She takes a tiny step back
“That’s not true, Ophelia,” I say.
Her laugh is broken. “You don’t get it. I killed your brother, Arlo.”
My throat tightens. “He tried to fucking hurt you.”
“I know,” she whispers. “I don’t justify it, but I still don’t think I had the right to take his life.” She looks on the edge of breaking. “I killed a man.”
“I don’t blame you,” I say softly.
She shakes her head harder, tears spilling. “But I blame myself!”
“I know he was my blood,” I say. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you defended yourself. No means no, you did what you had to do to survive.”
She stares at me, torn. “You should have come to me,” she repeats, barely audible.
I take another step toward her. “You’re right,” I say, my voice low. “I was the one who failed, Ophelia. In every possible way. And I’ll never forgive myself for it. I fucked up. I should’ve trusted you.”
She starts to speak, but I don’t let her. “I was too angry, too reckless. If I’d stayed, maybe I could’ve stopped it. I knew you. I should’ve known you’d never betray me. I should’ve seen through all of it.”
The words come out in a low, bitter rumble. “I was blind with rage. That’s on me.”
I take a slow breath. “You’re the only innocent one in this. You didn’t deserve my anger, or the notes, or the lies. You didn’t deserve any of it.”
She shakes her head, eyes glassy. “No, Arlo.” Her voice breaks so softly it almost destroys me, almost.
But the next words do.
“We can’t… what we had is in the past. There’s no future for us. It’s better if we don’t see each other anymore. I can go home, finish my degree online, or—”
“No.” The word rips out of me before she can finish. “Ophelia, fuck no.”
She acts like she hasn’t heard me.
“Just one last time…”her voice barely above a whisper now. “Kiss me… like I didn’t kill you.”
For a moment, everything in me stops, an onslaught of emotion hitting all at once.
Then I close the distance between us in a single stride and catch her mouth with mine.
In that kiss, I pour everything, grief, remorse, the plea for forgiveness I can’t voice. Her tears touch my skin, and mine touch hers, until I no longer know which belong to whom.
