Page 82 of Oath
I shrieked like a horror movie extra and spun around, slipping slightly on the mat. There he was—Legend—standing inside the kitchen with a gleaming stainless steel sink sprayer in one hand and the world’s smuggest grin on his face.
“Why—why are you like this?” I sputtered, wiping icy droplets from my ear.
“Water is a weapon,” he said, deadpan. “Never let your guard down near plumbing.”
He sauntered off like that was a normal thing to say.
Later, I tried to wash a mug and got blastedagain. Turns out he’d rigged the sink nozzle to trigger when anyone touched the handle.
I was starting to think he missed his calling in psychological warfare.
At least once a day—oncea day—someone snuck up behind me just to whisper “boo” in my ear like a six-year-old gremlin. I never caught who did it. I’d turn, heart pounding, and there’d be no one. Just air. Or a door swinging slightly. One time, a hastily discarded hoodie.
Theyinsistedit wasn’t any of them.
Bones swore on his life. Voodoo said I was developing paranoia. Legend suggested I install a motion detector.
I was going to find out, one way or the other. My reaction time was getting faster, and when I did find out—well they were going to need a new set of teeth.
ABand I took Goblin out one morning. It was a beautiful day, cold but not so biting. The snow fell lightly against the already white painted landscape. It was almost holiday postcard perfect. Instead of the usual, we were debating movies. AB, it turned out, was a huge fan of old black and white classics and was determined to “educate” me. I was actually enjoying myself.
Then something smacked me square in the back just hard enough, I stumbled forward.
I turned slowly. Legend was a couple of yards behind us, holding another snowball, looking very pleased with himself.
I turned to AB, aghast. “Are thereno rules?”
He shrugged. “Snow’s a gray area.”
“Does that mean you can help me?”
With a grin, he said, “Yep.”
As it turned out, despite growing up in Southern California, AB had a killer arm and I discovered what they meant about leading the target much to Legend’s chagrin.
AB never ambushed me.Never jumped out of a closet. Never wrestled me into submission.
What hediddo was sit me down in front of a fake ATM—I had no idea where the hell they got this thing—and said, “Try to get this card reader to accept a blank card.”
“Why would I ever need to do this?” I asked, holding up a rubbery decoy card like it was radioactive.
“You wouldn’t,” he said, calmly. “Unless someone else needed you to. Or you needed to spoof access in a locked building. Or they hand you a decoy.”
“Oh. Right. Perfectly normal, everyday scenarios.”
He nodded, utterly serious. Then we spent hours like it was the toughest game of Operation I’d ever played. I did manage to spoof it once though.
Another time, he slid a thumb drive across the table. “That one just lights up. Don’t use it on your actual laptop.”
I blinked at him. “Where am I supposed to use it?”
With an innocent shrug, he said, “The guys have their own laptops.”
They did…
Since Voodoo started it, he was the one I nailed with the flash drive. Apparently he earned a pornado. His yelling at AB was epic. ABneverratted me out.
The best part of all: itwaskind of fun.
