Page 19 of Oath
A little shiver went through me. That was hot. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
Irritation still raged in his eyes as he straightened. A part of me wanted to apologize, but I bit my tongue.
“Grace…”
“Don’t you ‘Grace,’ me,” I said, wagging a finger at him. “You said the objective was to kick you in the balls. I did it. How I do it is my business.”
“So throwing yourself at a guy ishowyou do it?”
I shrugged, then folded my arms to contain the sudden trembling rioting through me. “It was how I survived being taken.” I wouldn’t apologize forthat. “I’m not a six-foot-four badass who can kill someone with my pinky. If kissing someone means they stop hurting me, then I’ll kiss them. If fucking them means I don’t get beatenandraped, then I’ll do that too. All I have to do issurvive. You don’t get to judge me for how I do it.”
His frown deepened. “That was—” He cut himself off abruptly, slicing a hand through the air. “Time out. I need clarification.” The emotions simmering in his stormy gaze decried the sudden calmness in his expression.
“I’m listening.” My pulse continued to race as I went hot, then cold, then hot again.
“Did you have to do that when you were taken?” He held up a hand before I could answer. “Did you have to have sex with those men to prevent them from raping you?”
“If I did?” I couldn’t quite quell the defensiveness. From soul-searing kiss to wild agitation, I wasn’t sure I wanted to keep going. As it was, I backed up a step before I even realized I was moving.
“Dollface,” Bones said, his rough voice softening. “I’mnotangry with you.”
I swallowed hard, fighting to strangle the freefall of anxiety ripping through me. “Then why do you want to know?”
“Because you’re hurting.” The gentleness in those three words cut the ground out from underneath me.
“I’m fine.” I didn’t want to focus on what hurt or why it would. At his skeptical look, I lifted my shoulders in a shrug that I just wasn’t feeling. “I’m fine. I didn’t get beaten or raped. Is it my favorite memory? No. But I made it in one piece.”
The ground beneath my feet continued to shift as he took a step closer. Before I could stop myself, I backed up to keep the distance between us.
“You’re not okay.”
“It doesn’t matter.” I shook my head. “Look, you wanted to do some self-defense. So let’s do self-defense.”
His brows drew together as he studied me. I had no idea what he was looking for, but I lifted my chin even as my heart thumped more painfully.
“Come here,” he said in a deceptively soft voice. Before I could argue that he was giving me another order, he added, “Please.”
Everything in me just—stopped. Like a game on freeze-frame. Then, as if he’d just turned the right piece in some knock-off Tetris mobile game, all the rows beneath my feet just broke apart and crumbled.
My feet were moving before I even registered making a decision. This time when I crashed into him, Bones wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.
The bare skin of his chest was hot as fire under my palms as I slid my hands up to wrap around his neck. A part of me wanted to run the other way, but the rest of me just held on.
“I’m fine,” I repeated in a horrible, wobbling tone as my jaw trembled. The shaking hit me next, my teeth clicking and tears filming over my vision. “I’mfine.”
“You’re fine,” he repeated, all but cradling me as I clung to him. I didnotwant to cry. But the damn tears wouldn’t stop sliding down my face.
One of my shoes slipped off as he moved, but then he was sitting down and I was in his lap. My nose had started to run even as the tears wouldn’t stop. He shifted me around like I was a doll, and then began to rub my back in slow, even circles.
I had no idea how long we sat there. Bones murmured a lot of soft words, but they all bled together into just this low hum. If not for the faint vibration of his chest, I wouldn’t even have realized he was still speaking.
Swallowing hard around a lump, I tried to pull back and stop. But Bones kept his arms around me and then pressed my cheek back to his shoulder.
“I can’t seem to stop,” I hiccupped.
“I’m not going to melt,” he continued in that same gentle voice. “I’m not that sweet.”
Surprise arrowed through the misery. “You’re not?”
