Page 99 of Thorns of Deceit
My eyes stung, tears burning in my eyes. Aiden was being cruel. This had to be his sick revenge, a way to get back at me.
“Raven, come on. Open your eyes.”
I forced my eyelids apart and the room warped in and out of focus.
Aiden was kneeling on the floor, one arm around my back, the other gripping my face. His pupils were blown wide, his chest heaving.
“Thank God,” he rasped. I tried to shift my body upright, but he stopped me. “No, don’t move. Give it a minute.”
“What… what happened?” My voice came out like sandpaper.
He swallowed hard. “You passed out. I… I shouldn’t have upset you.”
I didn’t dream it. He did tell me Mom was alive.
“How could you be so cruel?” My lips trembled and tears streamed down my face.
His grip around me tightened. “I’m so sorry,mo cuishle. I should have eased you into it.”
I shoved at his chest. “No, you shouldn’t have told me such a cruel lie.”
He froze but didn’t let go. “Raven, I didn’t lie.”
“You’re lying,” I whispered, more to myself than to him. “You have to be. I watched her…”
My voice cracked, unable to say those words out loud. It felt like being transported back to the day of the explosion. It felt like I was losing my mom all over again.
I tore myself free from him and crawled forward. I needed space, but soon the world tilted, black spots creeping into my vision.
Aiden watched me with a wrecked expression. “I swear on my life, Raven. She survived. She’s alive, living in Scotland with Duncan.”
A hysterical laugh bubbled in my throat. “In Scotland with that asshole? She would rather die than go back there with him.”
He didn’t answer right away, the silence stretching, his somber expression and sincerity making me feel even worse. IfMom were alive, and she was with my father, she had to be suffering.
“I’m not sure why she went back with him,” he said firmly. “But I swear to you, she survived the explosion and left for Scotland with him. Maybe she went, thinking you were dead.”
I shook my head. “No, she pushed me out of the way. She knew…” All this was making my head spin. “She made me promise to get away from you and the mafia. To stay hidden from Duncan Lyons.”
“Raven, I watched her leave the hospital. She went with him willingly. If she hadn’t, I would have intervened.”
“You think your good intentions make everything alright?” I spat. “You have no idea what she endured. None of us do. Why do you think we moved so often? Why she drank herself into oblivion most days? That man drove her to it.”
My breath came faster, uneven. It felt like the walls were closing in.
“Tell me how to help, Raven.” His voice was rough, his plea sincere. “For fuck’s sake, I’m trying to do what’s right here. I want to help.”
“I don’t even know what’s real anymore,” I whispered. “You, her, this…” I pressed a trembling hand against my stomach.
He swallowed, his voice raw when he finally spoke. “I’m real. Trust me. You can hate me all you want, Raven, but all I ever wanted was to do right by you.”
I flopped on my ass and pressed a shaking hand to my mouth. “I’m so confused. I don’t know where to go from here.”
All I could see was my mother’s face, her anguish, the way she tried to drown in alcohol, then… fire. But she survived. Was she suffering? God, how could I have not known? I should have saved her the way she saved me.
I was unraveling fast and hard, unable to come to terms with everything I just learned.
“I just don’t know what to do,” I repeated in a whisper, wrapping my arms around myself while rocking back and forth.
