Page 52 of Paint Me Love
He’s speechless, I can see it in his eyes, in the way his jaw hangs. “By making me believe I was an even shittier person than I thought I was? You know, I already hated the fact that I couldn’t stay away from you even though you were with somebody.”
I hug myself. I did, and I took advantage of it. “What do you want me to say? This is who I am—”
“No. This is who you are used to being because it’s easier.”
His words are like an electrical shock, like a disarming spell. I rake a hand through my hair and pace from one end of the room to the other. Is this the end? Is he about to break things off because he figured out Jesse is ten times less toxic than me? He’s in his right to.
“You are mine. I won’t let you leave me for Jesse,” I declare, determination burning in my veins. Even if he hates me, I won’t allow it. He’s mine, I need him like life needs the light of the Sun.
He rubs his forehead. “Jesus. Where did you get that idea?”
I avert my gaze, not able to bear his hard look. “You are into him. Why else would he be here? And you are being awfully vague about what the two of you were doing.”
He sighs like he’s carrying the weight of the world. Then he snorts. “You are jealous… Holy shit, you are jealous and you’ve no fucking idea how to deal with it!”
For the first time in my life, I’m embarrassed. He’s called me out, and I wasn’t prepared for it. I glance at him, then out the window. Was this his plan? To drive me crazy until I lose my mind? Congratulations, he’s succeeded.
“Stay away from Jesse,” I repeat like a broken record. He’s right. I’ve no idea how to handle this, but I know that I won’t need to if he just does as I say. So why isn’t he?
“No.”
I take a step toward him, but stop dead in my tracks when he throws me a warning look.
“No,” he says again, his features hardening. He mumbles something under his breath, annoyance pouring off him in waves.
“Are you breaking up with me?” I demand, my heart shattering. “Is this why you’ve been spending so much time with him?”
Shock slides across his face. “What? Jesus, calm down.”
“I can’t lose you! Please…” I pin my gaze on the floor, not daring to look him in the eyes. “I’ll do anything, just… don’t leave.”
“Ugh!” He blows air out of his nose and folds his arms again. “I didn’t want to say anything until we were sure things would work out, but you’re impossible! Jesse and I are teaching a class together. Or, I guess, it’s two classes—in person and online. We were recording lessons here because he has a live drawing session at the studio tonight. He’s just a friend. There’s nothing between us.”
His words are like a balm to my agitated soul, but I can’t celebrate just yet. What if he’s lying? What if after realizing how much power he has over me, he wants to give me a taste of my own medicine? I know I would.
“Don’t lie to me. I don’t care if you fucked. Just tell me the truth so we can leave this behind us.”
Daniel presses his lips in a line. He’s angry now, distraught. “Are you for real? You don’t believe me?”
“I hurt you. It only makes sense you’d want to hurt me back,” I explain, surprised he doesn’t see how logical such behavior is.
Somehow, Daniel gets even angrier. He tenses up and looks ready to punch me. “You are out of your mind! I was willing to be with you behind your partner’s back, for fuck’s sake. You really think I’d toss you aside for somebody else after all that?”
I don’t have an answer to that. I don’t know. A situation like this is not something I’ve ever had to deal with.
“You do…” he clips, sadness in his voice. “You really don’t believe me?”
“You are not as pure as you make yourself out to be, Daniel. You are a lot more like me than you think. And people like me would do anything to come out on top. But it’s fine. I don’t care if you had an affair with Jesse as long as you end it now.”
My words strike a chord because the change in Daniel’s demeanor is immediate. His features close off, the hint of concern drains from his face. “Get out.”
I gawk at him, confused. “Don—”
“Get out, I said!”
“Wait, Daniel—”
“No.” He stomps my way, vibrating with anger. I am slightly bigger, but his presence alone is enough to force me to take a step back. “You don’t believe me. There’s nothing more for us to say to each other. Get out.”
