Page 51 of Paint Me Love
I shake off the crazy scenarios that come to mind. I’ll just ask him tonight. Whatever might be bothering him, we can figure it out together.
23
Derek
Whywasanothermanin Daniel’s apartment?
I take a pull from my cigarette, exhaling the smoke against my office’s floor to ceiling window. I haven’t smoked in years.
And since when is he so close with the Jesse guy?
Nerves swamp me, turning my stomach into an anxious knot. I leave for a week, and this happens. Is it payback? Because I lied about Adam?
I grit my teeth and scowl at the computer on my desk. My ‘ex’ showed up at the negotiations yesterday and pulled me to the side afterward to tell me how surprised he was that I hadn’t told Daniel the truth. Then he assured me I didn’t have to worry since he did it for me.
Fuck. That wasn’t supposed to happen, for Daniel to find out about it and from someone else on top of that. And now this Jesse… I knew they were hanging out in the studio for those art lessons, but why was he in Daniel’s apartment?
Daniel’s answer replays in my mind. “Art stuff.”
I growl and aggressively extinguish my cigarette in the ashtray I’ve never used. I’m losing my mind. Surely, Daniel isn’t bored of me yet… Surely, he’ll listen to what I have to say…
Right?
Every minute drags on, and by the time I head over to Daniel’s place, I’m even a bigger mess. I don’t want to lose him. I was an asshole, I tried to manipulate him, to make him desperate enough for me so he turns his back on his own morals. Fuck. Now he knows because of that devil, Adam, who should’ve kept his mouth shut.
Feeling like I’m a bomb about to explode, I take the stairs to Daniel’s floor. I linger in front of his apartment for a few minutes before I knock.
“Hi.” He opens the door with a smile.
I don’t feel like returning it. “We need to talk.”
I grab his wrist and drag him to the lounge, each step a challenge. My lungs are working overtime to keep me from suffocating, and the walls around me feel like they are closing in.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, clueless about the turmoil within me.
I close my eyes for a moment, trying to calm my frantic heart. “Why was Jesse here?”
Daniel’s eyes go wide. “I told you.”
His nonchalance irks me. Doesn’t he see how being alone with another man can be a problem? I’ve no idea what they did or why. “Art stuff isn’t really an explanation.”
Crossing his arms, he huffs. “We are working on something together.”
Going to Jesse’s studio when there are other people is one thing, but being alone with him?
Fear strikes my heart, strong and ugly. What happened during the time I was gone? Why is he being so suspicious about this? “What’s going on between you two?”
My demand makes him scowl. “I told you—we are working on a project!”
What project? Why is he being so vague?
“Daniel.” I grab his wrist and pull him toward me. He stumbles, his arm bumping into my chest. “I want you to cut all contact with him.”
“Huh?” He gapes at me, blinking like he can’t believe what I said. Then he shoves me away and rubs the wrist I was holding. “No. Are you crazy?”
Fuck. Maybe I am. But I can’t lose him. Even if he wants to end this, I won’t let him. I can’t. He knows I lied. I can’t change the past, but I had my reasons. It was the only way, or so I thought.
“I know Adam told you about us,” I blurt out, clenching my hands into fists. “I’m sorry, I… It was the only way to make you want this as much as I did.”
