Page 44 of Bloom and Burn
Sadness worms onto her face as we just look at each other. Jack walks over to her, crouches down, and grabs her hand. “We tried, Em. But we won’t be getting those approvals.” He looks at me and in his eyes I see his heart. Frantic, worried, lost, but beating for me. “I don’t think Ryan’s parents will budge, no matter what we try, so there’s no point in staying. It will only cause further delays we can’t afford.” He sighs and strokes her fingers. “We are so close. So close. Why is the universe working against us like this? And when I found Ryan, too.”
“Oh, Jack. What are we going to do now? I don’t want to leave!”
My heart breaks for both of them. For me and Jack, too. I don’t want to part with him, to give him up or do long-distance. He and Em barged into my life, and it’s the best thing that has happened to me in ages. They were so excited about the whole thing, not just the facility. They wanted to live here, to be part of the community, to help Estacada become better.
I watch the two siblings comfort each other. And then, amidst the disappointment I feel on their behalf and the frustration I feel toward my parents, I find it—a solution that works for all of us. It’s extreme, and definitely not something I’d do lightly, but it’s kind of perfect.
“Let’s move. And I’m coming with you.”
The two Kellers gawk at me. Confusion swims in their eyes at my unexpected announcement. I’m surprised too, shocked even, by my own suggestion. My life is here. The Blooming Orchid is here. But unless I do this, I will never get my way. Mom will continue to do things the way she’s always done them, and my dreams and aspirations will remain just that.
As my own words play on repeat inside my head, I realize I should’ve done this as soon as I finished high school. Breaking the cycle we’ve settled into requires drastic measures. I guess I was just too comfy with my life, even if I have craved change for so long. My path was set for me, the Blooming Orchid mine to take over. Except that even when it happened, I still had no agency. My mom still holds the final word, and the festival’s flower arrangements I had to tweak to her liking are proof of that. As things are now, the Orchid will never truly be mine or free of mom’s influence.
“What about your flower shop, Ryan?” Jack asks carefully, his eyebrows slanting down. But there is hope in his hazel eyes, a newfound spark of excitement that wasn’t there just a minute ago. “I can’t… ask you to leave when it’s finally yours. It’s not fair.”
It isn’t. But he’s also not asking me. I’m the one who suggested it. I love the Orchid, and it would suck having to give it up, but I see no other option. Mom needs to understand that I am serious. That I am done playing by her rulebook.
“I can get a job at a garden center,” I blurb out, my mind racing. “See how it’s run, learn a bit, climb the ranks. And then I can maybe open my own shop? In a year or two.”
It’s scary just thinking about such a big step. But it’s also exciting. If I leave Estacada, I will be the one in charge of my own fate. I can try all the things I never could here. I won’t have to give Jack up or settle for long-distance. It won’t be easy, I’m not naïve to think so, but I also won’t be alone.
He will be by my side, I just know it. I can feel it in the fond way he’s looking at me, in the small smile he’s trying to suppress as his brain is already searching for ways to help make my dream become a reality.
“Are you sure? As long as we can find a suitable location in Portland, you don’t have to move…”
True, but it’s painfully obvious that if there existed such a location in Portland, they’d have built the facility already.
I jog over to him and take his hands into mine. “I’m sure. And honestly, I’m kind of excited about moving. It never really felt like something I wanted to do, but I was just too comfortable with my life. It was easy, even if I had to compromise. And then I thought once I took over, thingswould change on their own, that mom would magically get it. But that was stupid and complacent of me.”
“I’m sorry that it came to this.”
I am, too. I wish my parents would’ve understood. That they would’ve had my back. I don’t hate them, they are good people, but unless I do something, nothing will change.
I hug Jack. His arms wrap around me tightly, and his scent envelops me. It calms down my nervous stomach and dulls the fear. I’m worried. I’m setting off on a new adventure I didn’t even consider before today, but even though it’s unexpected, I am also looking forward to it because I know the Keller siblings will have my back.
“It’s okay. Some problems require extreme measures.” I chuckle, flicking a lock of Jack’s hair off his forehead. “Honestly, I’m kind of excited. I haven’t had to look for a job in ages, so that part sucks, but I’ll get to do some of the things I’ve wanted to try for so long.”
In fact, I can’t wait to do that. To learn more, to test out some of my ideas and figure out what works and what doesn’t.
“That’s good.” He kisses my head. “Em and I will help in any way we can.”
It warms my heart to hear him say that, and Emily’s beaming smile only intensifies the floaty feeling in my chest. It never crossed my mind that I might find myself at a crossroads like this, but I am happy that I don’t have to face it alone. I can’t imagine the talk with my folks will be pleasant, especially with me wanting to leave on such short notice, but mom has been butting in every chance she got. She’s got Clara too, starting tomorrow, so she will be fine. Emily and I picked her together from all the people who applied for the shop assistant position.
A part of me hopes this will only be temporary. That mom will finally see how she’s smothering me. If I need her help, I will always ask for it, so she needs to stop forcing it onto me. I’m not asking for a lot, just that she trusts me.
I love the Orchid. I don’t want to give it up, not as a forever-thing, but if stepping aside is what I need to do so my parents can understand, then so be it. Besides, it would be good to see how things are done in other shops.
Okay, Ryan. You’ve got this.
I take a deep breath and grin. “Alright then. Let’s get packing.”
17
Jack
Istillcan’tbelieveRyan is here with us in Portland. He had a big argument with his parents when he told them he’s decided to move. But he stood his ground. He remained in Estacada an extra few days to do a handover and gather his stuff, but since last night, he’s officially become a city dweller.
I can’t say I missed the hustle and bustle, if I’m being honest. The quiet streets of Estacada, the nature… it grew on me. It’s a shame we had to leave, especially with the renovations of our old house almost completed, but we had no other choice. Helping Emily takes priority.
