Page 53 of Touch Of Fate
“When I was younger, I found it difficult to control my spells.” He exhales harshly. “A young man has many emotions of his own running through him. Having others bombard him daily was overwhelming. It felt good, and they expanded my magic, but I didn’t know what to do with all the energy. I struggled for years practicing. Emotions are everywhere and in everyone. Unless I was alone in my room, I couldn’t help but take from others. Humans are filled with feelings. They can’t help but express them with every action.” He grinds his teeth, looking away briefly. When he looks back, he must have come to a decision. “I thought I was in love. She was sweet and seemed to like me. The first time we got close, I lost control. I almost killed her.” He stops, waiting for my reaction. “You aren’t running.”
“I would never run from you,” I whisper, taking a sip. “Tell me.” My heart thuds as relief flows over him.
“We were in bed. Emotions were high, and I began to drain her.”
Chapter Twelve
Rome
I’m not ashamed of many things. Regret is useless, as Archer claims, yet there are several things about my past that I have been hesitant to share. I know Mara will understand, especially after hearing the things she has been through, but I don’t like thinking about the weak moments in my life. My body is still humming, lit up inside from the assholes I killed. The young man I was would have lost complete control around a woman as beautiful as my soul bond.
“I was lost in the moment and didn’t realize what I was doing,” I continue softly. “Everything was normal when we started fooling around. As the time passed, it got more heated. It was the first time we had gone so far, and her willingness was addictive. Her feelings piled on top of mine, fueling my spells higher and higher. I was lost in my pleasure; her groans only made it hotter. I was mistaken. As the time passed, her noises weren’t of a woman in ecstasy, but pain.” My stomach churns as I can see the moment clearly in my memory. “She was younger than me, and I knew she was fascinated. Humans don’t know we possess magic, but their intuition tells them we are different somehow. I had been seeing her for a few months. We did the normal shit she needed, going out for a meal, chaperoned by her brother. He watched me warily, and I knew he sensed something off about me. Her parents loved me and gave their blessing. She was the youngest in the family, and they protected her fiercely. I understood why; she was small, delicate, and had long blonde hair that made her look like an angel. I thought I was in love, but looking back, what I loved was the way she looked at me. The hero worship was strong, and even if it was wrong, I liked it.
“I was young and cocky. Humans were interesting, and I had moments of wanting to be one. Being a warlock was complicated, and there are things you can’t share. My parents were hesitant, and they warned me to be careful. They knew I didn’t have control of my spells. I reassured them that I would control them around her. She was too good to be the subject of my magical experiment. I thought I knew best.” I cringe. “Her brother was expected to meet us at a bakery. He was late, so I decided we should go somewhere else. She agreed. We had exchanged kisses while no one was looking, but we hadn’t taken off any clothing. I took her to my house. My parents were out for the evening, and it was an opportunity I jumped on. At first, she was hesitant, but she admitted she was curious. I sloweddown. I wasn’t an animal, and I did care for her. She deserved consideration. I checked consistently to make sure she wanted more, and she told me to keep going. I was an asshole boy and didn’t think to deny her.
“I knew I would catch hell from her brother when he couldn’t find us. He would come looking, and I ignored the fact that he would most likely come to my house. It was fine at the beginning; she was enjoying herself. It turned bad as I lost myself in the moment. I stopped concentrating on holding back. My emotions got out of control. I didn’t realize I was taking hers, too. It happened slowly, yet, at the time, it seemed to happen in a blink. Her body began to slow, her movements sluggish. I stopped everything and panicked.” I grind my teeth, shaking my head. “Her heartbeat slowed to dangerous levels. Once I stopped, I could feel it and recognize what I had done. The power was flooding my body from her desire and excitement. It’s believable that I thought my emotions were fueling my magic.”
“But you don’t believe it,” she says softly.
“I don’t know what to believe,” I sigh. “My parents came home and took control of the situation. They combined their magic to bring her back to life. Her brother barged into the house while she was dressing. He was furious, and she was confused. She didn’t know what happened. The last thing she remembered was the rush of us taking off our clothes; everything after became fuzzy. Luckily, I didn’t take her virginity. I was glad she wouldn’t have that memory of her first time. She was groggy, and no longer looked at me with worship. Her brother wanted to kill me, and I don’t blame him. I dimmed her light and made her question everything she felt. I don’t know what my parents did to calm them, but I never saw them again. I cursed the gifts I was given and wallowed in my misery for months. Practicing wasn’t possible when I didn’t want to leave my room or see anyone. My dad had had enough and forced me to eat a meal with him. Hehelped me see why I needed to work on my magic. Of course, I knew I couldn’t hide from it, and I saw what evil it could do if I ignored it.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” she says, touching my hand. “You didn’t mean to hurt her.”
“No, but I should have known to stop. I kept track of her. She married and had several children, but it doesn’t erase the guilt,” I respond softly, tangling my fingers with hers. “Dad was right. I spent every minute I could learning to control and harness it. It was a few years later that I met another human who captured my attention. I was leery, but I thought I had grown. Meeting her made me cautious, yet my heart fell fast. Every move I made was measured. Before we got to the point of taking it further, I decided to tell her I was a warlock. She laughed at me. I proved it to her. She wasn’t laughing anymore. Again, my parents had to step in and ask a relative to change her memories. I put my family in danger, especially if she had told anyone. After that, I didn’t have relationships with women. I keep everything impersonal and don’t have anything long-term. I didn’t associate with humans further than surface level. I had my family and Archer; I didn’t need anyone else.” I lift her hand and kiss her knuckles. “Until you.” I release her and take a drink. “I locked my emotions and love away, taking them from others, but carefully. Years of work and belief in my spells made me stronger. The twinge of guilt will always be there, but I can’t change it, and instead, I grew from it. So I know a few things about denying the gifts we are given. It leads to heartache and danger. I want to guide you and show you the beauty of what you were given.”
“Are you afraid that you could hurt me?” she asks.
“No. I’ve had longer than you can imagine to learn about my magic.” I smirk.
“How old are you?” she asks, and I tilt my head. I don’t know how she will react, and I’m surprised she hasn’t asked yet.
“One hundred and fifty. Give or take a few days.” She blinks, and blinks again.
“Wait.” She holds up her palm. “You’re a one hundred-and fifty-year-old warlock?”
“Yes,” I confirm, and control my grin.
“Do you know how old I am?” she asks.
“No.” I lean my elbows on the counter and cup my hands together.
“I’m thirty-four,” she says.
“Okay.” Her eyebrows raise.
“I mean…” She runs her hands through her hair. “So you don’t care that I’m so much younger?” She drops her hands to the counter.
“Why would I? Do you mind being with an older man?” I study her gorgeous face.
“Well…” She frowns. “No.”
“I won’t ask you to call me Daddy.” I grin when her lips part. “I love hearing you say my name in the breathy way you do.”
“Breathy?” she asks.
“Yes. Just like that.” My lips twitch. She shakes her head, biting her lip.
“I wondered when you said her brother was a chaperone,” she mutters.
