Guilt and self-loathing warred for dominance.
I did not harm innocent souls, and had inadvertently done so. Her physical form had been healed but forever her mind will be haunted.
I ruined her fighting spirit, I had broken her.
Light footsteps approached me and soon a body sat with me on the bench. “You won’t win her out here will you?” Benedict whispered. “At least you showed her you have a heart.” Benedict shook his head. “Wrong choice of words, emotions. Emotions are what I meant.”
I glanced at him.
“I mean you showed her you have feelings. You literally have a resting bitch face.”
I sat up straight. “I beg your pardon?”
“Vesper says it all the time. You have a resting bitch face. She can’t read your emotions, know what you are thinking, feeling. You just showed her how sorry you are.”
I tilted my head. “Is that what she wanted? For me to bare myself to her?”
Benedict shrugged. "I mean, it doesn't bother me. You're difficult to read. I never know what mood you'll be in when I bring you your tea."
I scoffed and rubbed at my chest. “I did not send those vampires to her…”
Benedict pushed my shoulder. “We all know that, but your actions thus far haven’t shown that. You need to open up. Don’t be a dick.”
“These new phrases must be from that woman because I have never heard such a thing. How can one be a dick?”
Benedict threw his head back and laughed. “Yes, she has wonderful sayings that bring light back to this dreary place.” Benedict lifted his ankle and rested it on his knee. “She’s like the missing piece, huh?”
The obsession with having Oryx and Vesper in my bed consumed my every waking moment. The thought of Vesper allowing me to touch her, to delve beyond the surface and truly understand this enigmatic, otherworldly goddess of a woman.
Her irresistible pull over my senses was maddening, a force that both infuriated and invigorated me. She awakened something damn near feral inside me, a thrilling reminder that I was truly, vibrantly alive.
Benedict patted me on the back. “Never in all my years alive have I seen a triad bonded, but hey, there could be stranger things. This is what is meant to be. I feel it.” Benedict rose from the bench and stepped away. “It will work out in time, Vesper is a forgiving being. She forgave Oryx from kidnapping her.”
I hummed and lowered my head. “But I have been a dick. Gave her nightmares, made her suffer.”
Benedict smacked his lips. “Then perhaps you keep her up all night so she doesn’t have any nightmares, yeah?”
I rolled my eyes. Surrounded by idiots.
Chapter 34
Vesper
The cold sweat did nothing to keep the heat from rising to my cheeks.
Veylor caught me in a vulnerable moment, and I absolutely despised it.
I don't want him to perceive me as weak and defenseless. He already sees me that way just because I'm human. Not showing emotion other than anger was my second line of defence besides the oath.
He saw me cry.
No one gets to see me cry, not even Lord Dickhead.
But now I can’t sleep, not even during the day.
Why can’t I be strong?
If Oryx wasn’t here I would be crying for my mother, for her strength.