Page 27 of Palaces and other Prisons
“No!” Ul drew back as if shocked that was even a possibility. “I will not let people starve. Our talk remains between us.”
Dawson nodded, relieved that whatever was happening wouldn’t impact the people on the platform. He couldn’t tell Katrina any of this. He didn’t want to admit that he’d done anything with the king. And that was a problem. Though he wasfairly sure it was only a problem because he didn’t know how she’d react or how anyone on the platform would react. He could already imagine them calling him a squid-fucker.
And what happened when the boat came? It might be weeks away, or months—he didn’t know. For how long was he going to put everything on hold while hoping for the boat? What was wrong with making the most of the time he had here?
And what was going to happen when the boat came, and they all went back to England, which was facing its own problems following the collapse. For a couple of heartbeats, staying on the island, far away from the riots and fighting, seemed like a good idea.
He didn’t have to commit to anything right now. They were just talking, and he was learning about Ul and the krakke. “I would like to get to know you and understand.”
Ul smiled. “And I would like to learn more about your world and what has happened. But first, letter and food.”
CHAPTER 19
Being able to talk to Dawson had changed things, and Ul wasn’t sure they were all good changes. Things were different before the rock pool. There’d been a tension and a longing between them, and while the need to touch Dawson still flowed through his body, it was in part because they were compatible; the rest was simply lust and loneliness.
He would not make the first move again. Dawson needed to come to him, but at the moment, he was still thinking, and Ul had no idea what he was thinking about.
The healer unwrapped the bandage and checked the healing wound. It looked much better than it had even a few days ago. He turned the stump, examining the puckered scar. “Is it good enough to go swimming?”
“No. A little longer. You do not want to risk infection,” the ogre said. She came first thing in the morning, without Katrina, to check. At the start, she had come several times a day. “And how are you sleeping?”
It wasn’t his arm keeping him awake, now. It was thoughts of Dawson and imaginations of the future. One he had stopped allowing himself to dream of and wasn’t sure he wanted. He couldn’t share that with anyone because having heirs was hisduty. It was expected, even though he had given up on having a family years ago.
After his husband’s death, it had been easy to throw himself into ruling and to push everything else aside. Now, a new chance had been thrust toward him, and he wasn’t sure he should refuse such a gift.
“Better. I have not needed the sleeping draft.”
“And the pain?”
“It is occasionally forgettable. When I do notice, it is more of a dull ache than a sharp loss.” Much like the loss of his husband. It had hurt sharply and wounded him greatly, but now it was a thing that had happened, and he’d learned to continue living.
And when Dawson left with his people?
How big would that wound be?
Perhaps it was for the best that Dawson had wanted some space to think things through, as if he’d realized that being with the king was political. Was he wondering what the others on the platform might think, while he worried what his people would think?
“I heard you have found a compatible mate.”
Ul winced and tried to pull his arm away before she finished bandaging the stump.
She held his arm firmly. “It is a rumor…though taking baths with him will not help it dissolve.”
He was silent for several heartbeats before sighing. “It is not a rumor. But he knows nothing of my kind…and I do not know if I want to chance the endless disappointments again.”
After several years, he’d stopped wanting to try. He could have ended the relationship, but by then, there had been a familiarity, and he had not wanted to go through the process of seeking a compatible partner again.
“You are not too old. You are not even middle-aged for your kind.”
“My heart is tired.” And now he needed to tell his island that they were no longer on Tariko. That everything they knew and the people they’d traded with were gone.
“Your heart is alone and aches for company to heal.”
Ul laughed. “He will not stay. He will return to his people.”
“And will your life be worse for the experience?”
“It will make my heart echo with another loss, and I will need to remember how to be alone again.”
