Page 55 of Brew
I don’t wait for her reply. Her rebuttal would be the end of me. Instead, I hop on my motorcycle, start the engine and roar it to life as I take off out of the lot.
I need to get away.
I need time to think, and I can’t do that with her standing there.
Maybe I can’t do it at all.
CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
Erica
24 hours later
I told Olive she did nothing wrong. She was a little upset at Brew’s outburst, and rightly so, but it’s not his fault. The subject matter is a little too close to home.
I can’t stop thinking about his words and how true they were. I don’t care.
I don’t care that he’s done bad things.
I don’t care that he liked killing people who hurt others.
I don’t care that he may have a freaking death wish.
Brew also has a big heart. The pain in his eyes? I can’t even describe it. I understand that I may be making excuses for him, but that’s not my intention.
When Olive signed her name, I saw something in him break.
In the parking lot, when he told me it was like torture if he couldn’t ever touch me again, I decided right then and there I wouldn’t be a guest in this anymore. I’m a willing participant.
Averywilling participant.
All afternoon, even after Nova gets back from lunch with Brew and Haze’s mom, all I can do is think about his words. About what they mean.
I realize I’m not the same Erica I was all those years ago. I’m not. I’m so much stronger.
I may not be ready to punch someone in the face like Amber did, but I do have a fury inside me with Steven having a new hearing, and learning that there’s a chance he may get out. That part has me reeling. I pretended that it was okay with it when I left Amber after Musos, but it’s far from okay. Just the idea I could ever run into that monster again makes me shudder.
Youare safe with me.Oliveis safe.Never forget that.
I started thinking about relying on a man, just like I did with Steven, and how far did that get me? I might have escaped a cult, but Amber did all the heavy lifting. She punched Jude, knocking her out. I could never have done that.
I’ve also never owned a gun. I’ve never shot one, but I know now is the time to protect myself, and my daughter, should that man get released. Brew might think we’re safe, but I’ve been around the MC long enough to know that the bikers can’t be around twenty-four-seven. Bad stuff happens all the time.
I text the one person who won’t give me shit about what I’m going to ask.
Me
Luna? Do you know how to shoot?
Luna
Uh oh, who am I maiming?
I smile down at the text.
Me
