Page 76 of Santa’s Little Faker
“Alright, clean undies. Clothes that look more grown-up. Then we’ll handle your mother and then we’ll make pancakes.”
Hmm.
“You’ll make pancakes. I mangle them.” I don’t know how it happened but it did. “I know how to grill and can cook a steak. I’m not useless.”
I just couldn’t do anything that didn’t involve fire.
“Your father strikes again.” Bastian shook his head as he grabbed my feet and tugged me over to the side of the bed.
I nodded as I laughed and let him start undressing me. “And my mother. She kept insisting that I’d get married and my wife would take care of that kind of stuff.”
Bastian rolled his eyes but was very efficient as he took my pajamas off. “You need a Daddy to take care of you, not a wife.”
Oh yeah.
“We need a different way to describe your role, though, Daddy.” I wasn’t going to be the one to explain that to her. “I’m not sure what she’d think if I called you Daddy. We need Terrence to do that first and then I can do it.”
I was going to let Enzo deal with that chaos.
Laughing, Daddy nodded as he reached for my diaper. “I think that’s a great plan.”
Giving me a curious glare, he distracted me a bit as he looked completely normal as he took off my wet diaper. “I’m pretty sure he started all this too.”
I’d told him that, right?
“Alright. The wipes are in a bag in the living room and I’m not going out there to get them without being ready to greet your mother.” Helping me sit up, he kissed my forehead. “Quick shower to make sure you’re all clean. Don’t wash your hair, that will look suspicious.”
He was good at this.
“We’ve got a few things to talk about once we chase her off, though.” Bastian looked a bit too suspicious, so I kissed his cheek and made a mad dash to the bathroom.
Terrence said sometimes retreat was the best strategy.
Chapter 20
Bastian
Good grief.
She just kept going.
I wasn’t sure if Orlando’s explanation of why their stubbornness was a positive trait was a good one or not, but I was going to do my best to believe it while I dealt with her insanity.
“Shower faster.” He’d already been in there thirty seconds and she was going to let herself in if I’d forgotten to lock the back door. “I laid out the dark blue T-shirt with your pants from last night on the bed.”
“Thank you, Daddy.” My huff got a laugh out of him. “Bastian. Yes. Bastian.”
He was definitely going to fuck up the name versus title thing before Terrence.
“Bastian says wash your dick and get out of the shower. I think you’re playing with it at this point.” Considering his snicker, I was probably right. “This is your mother. Once I open the door she’ll try to barrel in.”
Ha.
His groan and the way he reached for the shower knob said we were finally on the same page. “There’s no way something is actually wrong. She’s just being a menace but I probably shouldn’t say anything rude just in case.”
I would.
“Someone had better be in the emergency room for this level of crazy.” I might not have been the nicest person but his laughter as I headed out of the bathroom said he didn’t mind. “Don’t get distracted and leave me to deal with her alone. She’ll think you’re dead or locked in a closet somewhere.”
