Page 62 of Santa’s Little Faker
Water was sad.
Grown-up cups were sad.
“Well, that’s a good question, but I think it’s primarily because you got a lot of exercise, so you probably need a drink to help.” Daddy shrugged. “It might be to give the Daddies something to do so we don’t worry?”
Oh, yeah.
Daddies worried.
“You don’t have to worry about words or spankings now.” That was good. He’d have to find something else to worry about. “I’m not going to scream at you or throw a lamp at your head. They hurt.”
Daddy sighed. “How did I not know that story?”
“I didn’t tell my mother.” Shh. “We don’t tell naked stories to moms. That’s the rules.”
Daddy cocked his head and made thinking sounds. “That explains it. I think I know about most of the other stuff. She’s very…chatty.”
Nosy.
She was nosy and she liked to share.
“Don’t giggle.” Daddy kissed my head. “I was being polite.”
“Enzo says being polite will get you trampled. He’s polite. He knows.” Terrence was smart, not polite. “I’m polite too.”
It was dangerous.
Daddy agreed because he sighed and nodded. “I think we need a different word for how your family deals with things because technically your mother is polite and that’s not a good description of her.”
He made me laugh again.
“Stop that.” Daddy was wearing a silly smile. “Your family is insane and you know it.”
Yep.
Daddy wasn’t insane, though, except when he played pretend.
But we weren’t playing big pretend anymore ’cause I called him Daddy.
“Noooo…” I was silly and frowned. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, silly goose.”
Ha.
Daddy was laughing too.
“Well, I’m glad you’re not going to scream at me or throw anything at me.” Daddy let go of me as we got to his bathroom, but he stroked my head again and smiled. “We’ll get a drink after we get you cleaned up. That seems more important but we’ll get you some milk later.”
Daddy was smart and knew milk was better than water.
“I don’t like grown-up cups for milk.” I scrunched my face up. “They’re not good.”
Daddy made a huffing sound and frowned. “Would I give my boy milk in a glass?”
He was so silly.
“Nope. You’re smart.” And funny because he started shaking his head and grumbling.
“Milk in a glass. What is he thinking?” Daddy kept being silly and pouting as he turned on the water. “That’s like having a bath without bubbles.”
