Page 38 of To Feel Like This Again
“So, are you ready to take the next step in our relationship… and watchThe Notebook?” Lisa asks, reaching for my hand as we walk out of the hotel spa.
“Yes, I am, under one condition though.”
“What’s that?”
“You can’t judge me when I start to cry.”
“You’re so silly,” laughing and leaning against my shoulder as we ride the elevator up.
I really love spending time with Lisa, without having sex, more than you can ever imagine. I’m being genuine when I say that. But to be honest, I also make sure to deceitfully cater to her unattended emotional needs because I am exhausted from having sex, relentlessly, with two women every day.
???
In the evenings, I go on fun dates with Emily after she finishes work. She has taught me how to ice skate, although I’m a slow learner. We have sung not-so-macho songs together at Karaoke night (off the record, I selectedWater Runs Dryby Boyz II Men), I let her beat me in mini golf and she challengedme to try yoga when I said it was easy (I can confirm, it isnoteasy).
On the night before I am to go back to Jamaica, I return early from my other ‘engagement’ to prepare dinner. It took every ounce of will power to cut my quality time with Lisa short, which left her very disappointed, although she hid it quite well.
“Wow, something smells good,” Emily gushes, opening the door and heading straight to the kitchen to look at the entrées.
“What’s that?” she asks six times, pointing excitedly at each dish on the counter.
Going from left to right, I reveal, “Ackee and saltfish, callaloo, oxtail, dumpling, yam, and rice and peas.”
Fascinated by the ackee and saltish, she takes the lid off the Pyrex dish to smell it. “Amazing.”
“I have something for you,” I say, pulling out a bouquet of flowers from the other side of the counter.
“Oh my God, these are so pretty.” She closes her eyes and inhales each rose. You should have seen her. I’m so glad I had randomly asked three old women in the flower shop for advice on what to get. It was totally worth it. I really don’t remember all the types of flowers in the bouquet, but I know it has red roses. Every girl’s favourite, right?
“Thank you so much for these. You’re amazing,” wrapping her hands around me and squeezing me tightly, the bouquet still in her hand.
“You’re welcome, babe. Ready for dinner?”
“Yes. Can’t wait to taste my man’s cooking,” she answers, giving me a peck on the lips.
Sitting at the mid-century round table, we fill our plates with each dish and indulge.
“This ackee and saltfish is amazing,” she says, after saying something similar about theoxtail and callaloo.The food isdecent, I couldn’t find all the Jamaican seasonings. Describing it as amazing is a bit of a stretch. But Emily can’t help herself, she is on cloud nine because I cooked for her.
And because she is in such a good mood, it set the tone for a heart-to-heart conversation, where we got to know each other even more. It’s beautiful to really get to know someone you like very much.
“Uh. Something just occurred to me. This is the first time, someone other than my mom, has ever cooked for me,” she reveals, helping to pack up the leftovers in sealed containers. “Thanks again love.”
“You’re welcome, babe,” I say, putting the last container in the fridge. “Want to continue our conversation outside? Before we check out the movie you sent me earlier?” I ask.
“Yes, I’d really like that,” she looks at me and smiles. Then declares, “But first, a glass of red wine.”
“For sure.” I pour a glass of wine for us both, and we go onto the balcony and snuggle under a blanket.
Our getting-to-know-you conversation deepens when we begin toreallyshare how we feel about each other. I never knew I would be able to connect with someone like this again, after what had happened all those years ago.
“What?” she asks, catching me looking at her and smiling while in the middle of our conversation.
“It’s nothing really,” I say, feeling slightly embarrassed.
Then imploringly, “Tell me. Please?”
“I was just thinking… it’s really nice to feel like this again.”
