Page 7 of Take Me Slowly: part 2
No, I'd earned the animosity, the sneers, the reflection I hated whenever I looked in the mirror.
I leaned over to pick up the bag and carry it to my workshop. She'd never know, but I was grateful she took the time to drive the nails up here. I hated going into town. If I ever forgot for a moment how they felt about me, all I had to do was step through any doorway. The townsfolk would soon remind me.
I set the nails down on my work bench and smoothed a hand over the top of the dollhouse I was making. This one had tiny shutters, and doors and windows that worked. The blue roof was a change for me. Usually they were green, brown or grey. I liked this colour; it reminded me of Leah's eyes.
I picked up a small wooden chair and checked the paintwork on the back and arms. I'd had to touch up a couple of sections that weren't exactly how I wanted them, but they were better now. Satisfied, I placed them in a box, along with the rest of the tiny furniture. Including a fridge and microwave, all made by hand.
I carried the dollhouse out to my truck and placed the box beside it. Roping everything down, I tied a firm knot to keep it all from moving, and climbed into the driver's seat.
With loud, classic rock coming through the speakers, I navigated the bends down the mountain, through Aurora Hollow, until the land became flat. For kilometre after kilometre, there was nothing until I reached my destination. A larger town, surrounded by farmland. Big enough for a stranger to step foot in town without the gossip train doing the rounds in sixty seconds flat. I could walk around here for a short time without notice. A short time was all I needed.
I parked in front of a flat building, climbed out and untied the dollhouse and box and tossed the rope down on the bed. Lifting them out of the back of the truck, I left the toys where I always did, beside the door. No note, no fanfare. Everything would be given to a kid in need. Someone who had nothing else to play with. Someone who'd appreciate the hours I put into making all of this. A kid who needed something to smile at.
Not for thanks. Not for money. Just in the hope it would help to lessen my guilt for a little while. Making all of the delicate things kept my mind off everything else. It gave me a purpose even I recognised was more healthy than maintaining a kid's bedroom. I knew I could have sold what I made, but I liked it better this way.
Before anyone could step out and see me, I hurried back to my truck and drove away. I was almost certain someone watched, but they never said a word. Instead, respecting my privacy and need to remain anonymous. Besides, who would believe them? Not anyone in my hometown. No, they'd refuse the gift. That's why I brought them down here.
In Aurora fucking Hollow, they'd probably throw it all on a fire and burn it to ashes. It wouldn't help. Wouldn't make them feel better. It wouldn't change how they felt about me. They'dstill hate my guts. After so long, I should be used to it. I shouldn't care anymore.
Sometimes I pretended I didn't. I provoked them, just to piss them off. I liked seeing them get angry.
It was better than being ignored.
"You're getting soft," I told myself as I headed out of town. Maybe I was, because it didn't matter what I did. Nothing dulled the guilt when I recalled the look of fear in her eyes before they stuffed her in the car and took her. I should have been able to keep her safe. I failed her and for that I'd never forgive myself. I didn't deserve forgiveness from anyone else.
What would things be like if I'd kept her close to me? If I'd sat beside her instead of raking leaves? My dad would have yelled at me for leaving work undone, but then they couldn't have taken her. I would have had a chance of fighting them off while she ran to her own father. Or made things more difficult so they didn't take her. Something. Anything. She'd still be around, living life the way she was supposed to.
And I wouldn't be so fucking lonely.
4
LEAH
"Where have you been?"Connor leaned against the front of my cottage, beside the door. Riley next to him.
"I'm surprised you didn't make yourself comfortable inside," I remarked. Since they had a key, they could let themselves in whenever they liked. And they did. Their personal favourite? When I was in the bath.
"We wouldn't want to intrude on your privacy." Connor smirked.
I barked a laugh. "Since when?" I pulled out my key and unlocked the door before stepping inside. I didn't bother to invite them in, they'd invite themselves anyway.
"Since it's not as much fun in here if you're not here," Riley said. He closed the door behind him and followed me and Connor to the kitchen.
"It's nice to see you have some boundaries." I turned on the coffee machine and leaned my back against the kitchen counter. "I was starting to think you had none."
"We don't have many and the line is narrow." Connor cupped my cheek and leaned in to brush his lips over mine. "You didn't answer the question."
I decided it was better to rip the Band-Aid off and be done with it. "I was up at Josiah's. He left something in town, a bag of nails, so I took it up to him."
Predictably, both of their bodies stiffened, harder than steel.
"You went where?" Connor whisper-growled. "Why would you go near him? He would have come back to town sooner or later."
"You don't want him in town," I pointed out. They made that abundantly clear from the day we met.
"We want him in town more than we want you near him," Riley said. "Did he touch you?" He looked ready to grab a kitchen knife and confront Josiah if he had.
"If he touched me, it would be because I wanted him to," I said evenly. "But no, he didn't touch me." I wasn't sure how to explain the rest of the encounter.
