You exist for me and me alone. Nothing outside of my desires matter to you anymore. Your only concern is to please your master.
I shook my head, gritting my teeth as the daggers continued to pierce and slash.
I own this body now, do you understand? You have no rights to it anymore. It’s mine to keep, to fuck, to break…
My breath caught in my throat, my lungs struggling to keep up.
You will never leave me, Jaden. This is your forever now. Embrace it.
“NO!”
The rage left my lungs in waves, the jagged energy cutting through the silence of that black room like lightning in a storm. My chest surged, a rush of anguish and destitution pulsing through my system, leading me down a dark hole of depravity.
I had to slow down. I had to re-center. Bring myself back to the present. Rearrange my erratic thoughts. I could manage this like I had before. I needed to rationalize.
Breathe, Jaden. Just breathe.
I was bound, yes. But I was alone.
I was cold. But I was whole.
And I was scared. But I was also smart.
I didn’t have to endure it like this. I didn’t have to give in.
It would be so easy to lose myself again to that familiar endless black hole of my helplessness, let it swallow me up until my mind was numb and my soul was dead. So simple to just succumb to the tears and let my body break down into the jagged pieces Darren had fractured inside me. To wallow in the pollution of self-pity and regret. It was like trying to survive a hurricane with no shelter in sight.
I gritted my teeth.
No.
This time, I refused to allow myself that luxury.
This time, I wouldn’t go numb.
This time, I would retrain my focus.
This time, the only thing I planned to dwell on was my next move and form a new strategy he wouldn’t see coming.
If Darren wanted me to lie to him, then that’s exactly what I’d fucking do.
28
Love Language
Unlocking the door, I stepped inside the room and quietly closed it behind me, allowing the familiar surrounding darkness to penetrate and swallow me whole. There were no windows down here—no clocks, or pictures, or any indication of the outside world. It was just us, and the magnetic atmosphere of chaos we created.
It was like coming home.
When I flipped the switch, low warm light revealed the beautifully tortured soul still chained to the bed. Jaden’s eyes were open, her gaze pinned to the ceiling as she took in deep, steady breaths.
My lips curled as I made my way over to the bed, carrying a bottle of water and a large mug of oatmeal I had Pascal make for her this morning.
I decided to leave her down here overnight to give her all the time she’d need to formulate her exit strategy. And I was eager to see what she had devised.
“Good morning,” I said warmly, luring her eyes away from the ceiling.
Jaden swallowed, the movement at the column of her throat enticing me to drag my teeth across the massive ring of colorful bruises collaring her neck. Her pale skin accentuated beautifully with the blues, purples, and greens, an artistic masterpiece of pure unadulterated rage and betrayal. I could still feel her pulse pounding against the palm of my hand as I’d held her life in the balance between heaven and earth.