Page 102 of Inevitable
His lips were drawn in a line as if his mouth were zipped shut. I turned to Lea. “Lea, I’m really sorry.” She nodded but also said nothing.
“And, you.” I turned to Jonathan, yanking my purse from the chair. “I can’t even…” My breath was shaky. “After all the times I built you up. After all the things you said to me about choosing my future and speaking up for myself. And you didn’t even believe in me.”
I was numb as I ducked my head and darted through the restaurant. I walked quickly, but it wasn’t fast enough for me to avoid the curious and judgmental stares. I knew what they were all thinking.
How could you?
Whore.
Terrible daughter.
It was written on their faces, even if they hadn’t spoken the words aloud. Or maybe it was my dad’s words in my head, the insults he’d lobbed at me. He’d always promised to love me—no matter what.
He also probably never expected that you’d fall in love with his best friend.
God. I felt like an idiot. To think we could tell my dad and he wouldn’t react the way he had. To hope that…I didn’t know. That he’d accept us.
And while that hurt, knowing Jonathan was hurting too only made it worse.
But that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was that they’d both lied to me. That they really thought so little of me.
“Sumner.” Jonathan jogged up behind me. “Sumner, wait.”
I spun on him. “Do you not trust me to know my own mind? All those times we worked together and you told me how brilliant I was, were you just being nice?”
“Sumner.” He grabbed my elbow, pulling me down an empty hallway. “Listen to me. Of course, I believe in you. But I couldn’t be the one to hold you back.”
“Can you see how limiting my decisions, not trusting my ability to decide for myself might be holding me back?”
“Yes.”
“Yes?” I yanked my gaze up to his, noticing that his eye was pinched shut, the skin turning a bluish hue.
“Yes, baby. I’m sorry. I was an idiot. About so many things.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you at least give me the chance to decide for myself?”
“Because I want the best for you, and I didn’t think that was me.”
His honesty sucked the air from my lungs, my heart softening. I thought back on all the times he’d encouraged me to pursue my dreams—from suggesting I work with Isla, to seeking my advice himself. And ultimately, I believed him. He didn’t want me to limit myself, and it was why he’d pushed me to leave. Even though he nearly broke me.
I cupped his cheek, dropping my hand when he winced. “Did my dad punch you?”
He nodded. “I deserved it.”
“I’m not sure I agree with that. But I do understand why you did what you did, even if I don’t like it.”
“And the reason I didn’t tell you was because I didn’t want to come between you and your dad any more than I already have.”
I nodded, considering everything he’d said. He was always putting me first, even if it was misguided at times. But apparently, he wasn’t done.
“And, at the time, I couldn’t own up to what I really wanted.” He reached into his pocket, pulling out a slip of paper before unfolding it. “I was going to show it to you last night, but—”
I accepted the piece of paper from him. In his neat scrawl were a few lines, but the words were so impactful.
I’ve been chasingthe wrong things, filling my days, my years, with stuff. With obligations and expectations. But now I know the true meaning of success isn’t to be found in things. It’s to be found in people. In relationships.
And then hewent on to lay out his vision for success, including a house for us that he’d remodel, a life together, a plan for his days.
